


Give Me Hell

by FionaFoe



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Anal, Anal Sex, BDSM, BDSM Undertones, Bondage, Cheating, Coach Negan (Walking Dead), Dad's best friend, Demanding Negan, Discipline, Dom Negan (Walking Dead), Dom/sub Undertones, Exhibitionism, F/M, Jealous Negan (Walking Dead), Light Dom/sub, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Negan Being an Asshole (Walking Dead), Possessive Behavior, Possessive Negan (Walking Dead), Possessive Sex, Public Sex, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Smut, Teacher Negan (Walking Dead), Teacher-Student Relationship, bratty behaviour, dominant Negan, father's best friend, fear kink, intimidation kink, negan's huge cock, sub Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:42:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 25,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26196571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FionaFoe/pseuds/FionaFoe
Summary: Reader just turned 18 and has found it too damn hard to deal with her feelings toward her dad's best friend, and her political science teacher, Negan. She has been avoiding him as much as she can and is zoning out in class, but things are about to get so much worse.You terrify me‘Cause you’re a man, you’re not a boyYou got some powerAnd I can’t treat you like a toy…And I’ve never played a fair gameI’ve always had the upper handBut what good is intellect and airplayIf I can’t respect any manSia - Fair Game
Relationships: Negan (Walking Dead)/You
Comments: 36
Kudos: 117





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I do not condone this type of relationship in ANY WAY IRL. This is merely a fantasy story for grown ups only.

Back in highschool all the girls had a raging crush on the baseball coach. I was no exception, but to me it was worse than for most of them, I had to see him all through every school holiday. I had to be subject to his bare chest and strong arms in the summer by the pool, to him in his suit and tie at new years, to his loose sweatpants falling lazily over his crotch watching sunday football and on a long list of other situations were it was even harder to resist his devilishly good looks. My young eyes were always struggling not to linger at him inappropriately during dinners my parents hosted for him and his wife Lucille. Negan was the kind of teacher causing all the girls to sit completely still during every class, drinking in every mannerism of his face and every last rumble of his deep voice. Even the most disrespectful and unruly teenage boys behaved in his classes, his authority filling the room like no other teacher could.

Being so exposed to him was hard to say the least. The older I got, the harder it was to keep him off my mind. His charming demeanor, playful winks and the way his tongue graced his lower lip when he was amused got harder to be around the more mature I got. At night when I’d go to bed he popped up in my mind and I couldn’t help my hand reaching down beneath the elastic on my underwear. In the morning I would feel guilty, a gut wrenching, awful guilt for thinking of him touching me and kissing me, thinking about how it would feel to put his cock in my mouth and for him to slide it into me. I felt dirty. I felt ashamed that I would think of my dad’s best friend like that. I felt mortified that I thought of Lucille’s husband like that, she had always been there for me, always been the one I could go to when I felt like I couldn’t talk to my mother. I fantasized that the reason he took such an interest in my schoolwork and my choices in friends was that he was secretly attracted to me and wanted me as much as I did him. I’d close my eyes at the dinner table and imagine that the reason he looked at me so intensely and smirked when I blushed was that he wanted to follow me into the bathroom and ravage me.

By the time I was 18, and in my final semester of highschool, I finally had more say in how I spent my time. I was no longer expected to attend every dinner party. I could finally leave the house when Negan was coming over. And that’s what I did. I used my new freedom to finally get him off my mind. I hung out with guys my own age, I went to parties instead of friday night dinner and I started avoiding his eyes in class. I was finally spending less time thinking about him doing unspeakable things to me. And so my conscious lightened.


	2. Part 1: April 2007

I hate being in political science class. Negan is going on about something or other. I’ve been zoning out during class for weeks, no longer sitting on the edge of my seat hanging on his every word like everyone else. I lazily doodle in my notebook, going over my plans for the evening. Thinking about what to wear for Nathan’s party tonight to really get Finn’s attention, and about how I’m going to let him get all the way with me. 

The room is suddenly deadly quiet, and I lift my head. I look around and meet the eyes of my best friend, Liv. She looks at me curiously, expectantly. 

“What?” I say, turning to look at the rest of the class, and finally up at Negan who is looking at me, an unamused look on his face.

“When proposing legislation…” He starts, but I already know I can’t answer whatever he is about to ask me.

“Dunno.” I actually interrupt him. This must be a first for him, a student paying him this little respect.

“You don’t know?” His expression hardens, his jaw clenching.

I just glare at him. I feel my blood boiling, but not in the usual way. My lust seems to have turned to anger somewhere between my guilt and ignoring him.

“Fuck off…” I mutter under my breath, and it’s like I can hear everybody in the room hold their breath, bracing themselves for whatever is going to happen next. 

His eyes are shooting daggers at me. I am sure he is gonna tear me a new one, gonna make me wish I was never born, but my luck is unbelieveale. The bell rings and I praise the gods for landing me straight in the ‘saved by the bell’ cliche. 

“Class is dismissed, you can leave.” Negan slams his textbook shut, a lot harder than he has to and I stand up immediately and start packing up my school supplies. “Except for you,” he points a long, menacing finger straight at me. 

I know he can’t lay a hand on me, he can’t force me to stay, but I really don’t want to face the shitstorm that is certainly gonna fly right at me if he calls my dad, or even worse my mom. So I sit back down, crossing my arms demonstratively, as if I’m some sort of little brat. Liv mouths You’re in trouble at me as she leaves. She winks at me. I already know that at least half the girls in school would love nothing more than being told to stay after class by Negan. 

“What the fuck has happened to you?” He asks just as the door slams shut behind the last student. 

His foul language shocks me. I am used to his cursing, he has a certain way to speak, but that is only at home, never in school. I keep quiet. Nothing I can say will help me. What has happened to me is him. What has happened to me is that he has been on my mind so much that I have had to turn my brian off whenever I am around him.

“Nothing to fucking say, huh? Nothing to say about your dropping grades, your missing homework, nothing to say about your lousy fucking attitude?” 

“Get off my fucking back,” I say, and much to my own surprise I keep going. “How about you just leave me the fuck alone and go back to the field where you belong, huh? It’s not my fault your class is failing so miserably at motivating me!”

I see him breathing heavily and then he walks abruptly toward me, he crosses the room with such resolve that I lean back in my chair in reflex. 

“Don’t you fucking disrespect me!” He slams both palms down on my desk. “I am in charge here, make no fucking mistake about it!” 

“You can’t make me respect you,” I say, I feel shaky on the inside, but my voice is coming out loud, clear and steady. 

I stand up, grab hold of my bag and move towards the door, but he grabs my arm forcefully. He pulls me roughly back towards him, and soon I am closer to him than I’ve been in months, maybe closer than I’ve ever been.

“That hurts!” I yell in his face.

“Though luck,” he says, his voice now low and rumbly, I can practically feel the baritone of his voice ripple through me and I go even shakier. My lust for him is back with a vengeance. I am surprised at how weak I am for his roughness and discipline. He has awoken a side of me I didn’t know existed. It scares me. I have to leave before I say or do something I can’t take back.

“Let me go or I’ll scream for help,” my voice comes out low and threatening. “You don’t want that, do you?”

He lets me go instantly and I can see him looking at me in disgust. I know I just threatened his entire career.

“Leave…” He says, slowly.

I don’t instantly move, waiting to see if the storm is actually over.

“Leave!” He barks at me, and I scurry out of the classroom as if it was on fire.

***

“He’s got the hots for you. He looked like he was ready to ravage you.” Liv hovers next to me as I put my books away.

“Shut up, he does not! He hates me! You didn’t see what happened in there.”

“You sure as hell annoy the crap outta’ him, but trust me, that isn’t such a bad thing,” Liv winks at me.

I roll my eyes at her.

“He looks at you, you know…” She sighs. “However much I hate to admit it.”

“Sure he does, he feels like it’s his responsibility that I don’t throw my life away and drop out. He wants to make sure I don’t fall asleep in class or ditch or something. I am sure my dad put him up to it.” I slam my locker shut.

“Believe me, your dad did not put him upto looking at you like that.”

“Like what?” I chuckle at her.

“Like he wants to fuck you.”

“Shut up…” I start to walk away.

“Believe you me, I know what lust looks like,” she yells to me as I walk away, “and that’s exactly what it is!” 

I turn to her and flip her off, and she laughs playfully at me, but turning my back to her again I flush as I walk away. 

***

I collapse on my bed as soon as I come home. I have had two classes and a drive home to contemplate my behaviour with Negan. I regret it all. I have no idea how to make this remotely okay again. I half expect my dad to come barging into my room the minute he’s home to ground me for being a proper brat to his best friend. I groan loudly, my memories of what had happened in that classroom intruding on me. I try to shake it off, but to no use. I don’t know what to do with myself. Part of me wants to run away, part of me wants to confess before it’s too late and a part of me wants to tear my pants off and release the frustration bottling up inside of me. I thought I was passed this. But alas the guilt and shame and lust is once again twirling around in my brain, making me go crazy. I opt for a shower, feeling the need to clean myself off the filthy thoughts, and then get ready for the friday night party. I struggle through my mixed emotions all the way through my shower, and then through picking out my outfit for the night. Maybe those emotions are the reason I pick out the shortest of my short skirts and the t-shirt that pull so tight over my chest it might as well be a kids shirt. I want Finn to distract me and fuck these thoughts of Negan right out of me.

I feel a little better as I start getting ready. I had made sure to get a good nap, as to not fall asleep in the middle of the party. Now I’m good and ready to let loose. I pull on my skirt and t-shirt and am excited to see my black bra barely visible through the white fabric. My skirt just covers my ass, and I make a mental note to not lean over and show everyone my matching black panties. I’m saving that for Finn. My mind drifts off as I do my makeup, but the slam of the front door snaps me right back to reality. I am sure that at any second my dad is gonna stomp upstairs and rip the door open. 

I wait in silence, almost scared to breathe, but nothing happens. I open my door ever so slightly and hear my mom and dad chatting about tonight's menu, their light tone calming my nerves. Negan hasn’t called. 

“Hun, are you staying for dinner with Lucille and Negan? Should I make enough for five?” My mom’s voice beams from below, she loves these things, being able to show her friends how much of a success she is in the kitchen as well as in her CEO position.

“I’m going out,” I yell back.

“With who?”

“Liv, we’re just gonna hang out at Nathan’s.”

“No drinking, right?” I can hear her concern. I know she’s noticed me slipping, but she would rather pretend everything is fine than deal with it.

“It’s just gonna be movies and snacks, chill out!” I yell and continue getting ready.

Once I’m done and Liv has texted me to say she’ll pick me up in a few minutes, I silently walk downstairs. If I don’t make too big a deal of leaving I know my parents won’t pay me any attention, they are way too preoccupied with the evening’s preparations. I sneak past the kitchen, grab my jacket and throw it on without sipping it closed. I barely say bye before I slip through the door.

I am on my way down the driveway, Liv whistling at me through the rolled down window of her car, when Negan and Lucille walk up. I feel a pang of guilt. I love Lucille. She is carrying a bottle of wine with her, and added to the wine my parents had bought earlier, I know they’re gonna be out cold long before I come back. I can sneak in drunk, no problem. Lucille smiles and tell me to have a good time as she passes me, Negan does not. He eyes me with an icy expression, looking at what I’m wearing as if he disapproves. I’ve pissed him off again, and I feel my irritation rise like it had in class. I need a drink.

***

At one am a cab drops me off down the street. I walk, my legs slightly shaky, down the street. I feel kind of pissed off. Finn had gone too hard on the beer and passed out before we could get to it. I am pretty drunk myself, but sobering up by the moment. It is cold, but I don’t bother putting on my jacket, I never freeze when I drink, my entire body numbs down and all I can feel is that giddy feeling. Walking up towards the house I see Negan making his way out.

“Mom and dad asleep?” I stutter out, trying to sound sober.

“Your mom is, your dad will be pretty soon I bet, they had a few too many,” he says and I see him eyeing me suspiciously. “How drunk are you? ”

“How drunk are you?” I can’t help but sass him. Not after what happened in school. “And why are you still here? Don’t you guys go to bed early, like other oldies?”

“Watch it,” he warns. “I kept your dad company. He wanted to stay up, wanted to fucking wait for you. In the end he had to give up, and you should be glad he did. You wouldn’t want him to see you shuffle in, drunk off your fucking ass.” He looks me up and down, with what I’m sure is a disapproving look. “And how do you go out looking like that?”

“I go out looking like this just fine. How else will I get Finn to fuck me?” I say with a little help from my liquid courage. I see his jaw clench, and my drunk ass wonders how far I can push him. “You ever wonder how many of those boys you boss around out there on the field I’ve let fuck me?”

“Shut the fuck up,” he says slowly, his voice dangerously low.

I laugh at him tauntingly. “What are you gonna fucking do? You gonna tell on me? I wouldn’t do that… I just might tell the principal how you treated me in school today?” I see him tense and relish in how I can get to him. “Where’s your wife? Is she gonna walk out here and see you so hot and bothered with me, her best friend’s daughter?”

“Sleeping.” He sends me his most menacing stare, I see his chest heaving. “And so should you be. Get inside. Sleep it off…” He reaches out to grab me again, but I take a step back.

“Careful,” I say. “Do you really want to be seen grabbing hold of little old me, dressed like this, in the middle of the night?”

He looks like he’s about to explode. He takes a deep breath and walks away.

“Good night,” I call after him and smirk to myself before I make my way inside.


	3. Part 2: May 2007

It’s friday and I feel like I might vomit. It’s been one week since Nathan’s party. Every night since I haven’t slept well, I am worried sick of how it will be when I come face to face with Negan again. I stepped over a line with him that I never should have, but there seemed to be something in me that just wanted to make him miserable. He has made it so hard for me to be me for the longest time. The need to hate him and punish him has made me act like I never thought I could. I’ve barely made it through the week, doing my best to avoid him at all costs, but today I have political science. The thought of sitting in a classroom with him makes me lightheaded. I am angry at him. So fucking angry, but still I want nothing more than to have a screaming match with him. I want the heat between us to rise again, to feel that adrenaline rush again.

I land on a decision to not go to school. I can’t bring myself to do it, so once my parents are off to work I crawl back to bed and fall asleep.

***

My phone rings, and I jolt right out of sleep. I groan as I look at the screen and see that it’s my mom. I decline the call, I should be in class anyway. Sadly, as soon as I press the denial button she rings again, and again, and again. On the fifth call I give up.

“Y/N! You skipped school?” My mom asks, and I can hear her voice dripping with disappointment through the line. This is a first. It’s not the first time I’ve skipped, but it’s the first time my mom has been informed. The absence policy is pretty relaxed at my school. I feel a pang of dread. No doubt Negan has something to do with this.

“I wasn’t feeling well…” It’s not technically a lie.

“Bullshit,” she huffs, “you went behind our backs to stay home.”

I’m in trouble. After all the bad decisions I’ve been making throughout the last five months, this is the one that gets me in trouble. I move my phone away from my ear as my mom starts yelling at me about throwing my life away and about her own road to success. I praise myself lucky that she has no proof that I’ve been drinking and fucking my way through spring, if she did she might send me away to a convent. 

“You are grounded,” she states at the end of her rant. “For a week!”

I freeze for a moment. Tomorrow is Liv’s Cinco de Mayo party. Liv is throwing an epic party, and we’ve already shopped for it.

“No, you can’t -” I start, but am interrupted.

“Yes, I can!” She hangs up on me.

I fall back on my bed and scream in frustration.

***

Liv is pissed at me. I had called to tell her and she cursed me out before hanging up on me. I feel shitty for managing to get grounded the day before her first big party. When I wake up on Saturday I shuffle myself down the stairs in a foul mood.

“Don’t you dare give me that sour face,” my mom points a spatula at me before she continues to cook eggs. “Now you are going to eat your breakfast, get dressed and go shopping with me. The party is in exactly seven hours and ten minutes, and you are helping me get everything ready.”

“You are throwing a party to punish me? I think you might have read that parenting handbook wrong,” I sass.

She stops and looks at me, not amused by my joke.

“I am not about to cancel my Cinco party because you decided to be an idiot.” She plates the food. “And when we are done you can stay in your room and sulk, or you can come down and make an appearance, your choice.”

She calls my dad down for breakfast, we eat and soon we have shopped and I am unpacking what feels like a hundred bags.

***

Any excuse to throw a party she’ll take. I know she lives for this shit, showing her family off as if we’re the perfect fucking family. She wants nothing more than for me to come down and look nice, and cute, and polite. I don’t feel like giving into her need to look like the perfect wife and mother. I stand in my window looking down at the festivities and there’s Negan of course, looking perfectly happy after he’s fucked everything up for me. For a second he looks up at me, he smirkes and his eyes twinkle with mischief. He’s done this to mess with me, to punish me. I hate him. I hate that he’s having a good time mingling down there with a beer in his hand, when I’m stuck up here. Then I remember that I’m not. I can go down there, sneak a few drinks and make the most of it. Especially if making the most of it makes him mad. I decide to dress up and put on my makeup. I choose a skirt almost as short as the one I’d worn the week before. This one is pleated though, making it move freely as I walk, bouncing with my ass when I turn. My top is just as sexy, cut just low enough so that my bra is visible when I lean forward.

My dad looks at me disapprovingly as I come outside. He opens his mouth to tell me off, but with a nudge in the side from my mom his mouth closes. There is no way she will let him cause a scene on her big night. I walk around, looking for Negan, wanting to see his reaction to my outfit. Will he dare to make a comment with all these people around? I spot him over by the drink table, pouring himself a whiskey. I hurry over.

“Hi,” I smile sweetly at him, before slyly turning my back to the party, hiding the fact that I am pouring a healthy splash of vodka into a cup before I fill it the rest of the way with sprite.

“You’re doing that shit in front of me? Do you want to get in fucking trouble? You know I’ll tell your mom,” he says, his eyes growing dark. I love how easily I can get to him.

“You shouldn’t do that. If you ruin this for her, she’ll never forgive you.” I take a long sip of my cup. “Do you like my skirt?”

I see him trying his hardest to not look down my body. 

“Brat,” he mutters and walks away.

All through the next hour I try to get his attention, but he’s doing a real good job at avoiding me. I drink more as the night progresses and I start to grow really bored as the dark creeps in. A text pops in from Liv: Fuck, Y/N. You’re missing out. Can’t believe you fucked this up. 

This is bullshit, I think and go up to my room. I can’t stand it when she’s mad at me. She is the closest friend I have. We’ve been connected at the hip since kindergarten. I pace the floor and feel my mind spinning. Finally I just give up trying to resist my urge to have some fun. I down what must be my third drink of the evening and throw my bag across my body. My parents will be too drunk and preoccupied to know I’m gone anyway.

I’m tipsy as I climb through the window. It’s risky as hell. The chance of getting caught is pretty high, but the chance of falling down is higher. I am careful and move slowly, knowing full well that if someone sees me my short skirt is giving them a great show.

“Are you fucking stupid?” I hear Negan’s voice call up at me. How is he here at the absolute worst time? Seeing me as I climb down, my panties on display, sneaking out.

I jump the last few feet down. “What the fuck are you doing out here?”

“Lucille is cold, I volunteered to get her a damn sweater.” He says through gritted teeth. “You could have fucking killed yourself climbing down here drunk.”

“I’m not drunk.” I state, fully aware that it’s obvious to him that I’m lying.

“Sure you're not.” He mumbles. “Here I was fucking dumb enough to think a little call about skipping school would actually get you back on track.”

“You fucking asshole,” I spit my words at him. I am furious.

“Shut up,” Negan says and steps right into my personal space. I nudge back, but my back meets the exterior of the house.

“You wanna shut me up? How?” I mock and give him my best doe eyes.

His eyes sparkle, almost predatory. He is just as furious as me. He grabs hold of my chin, his thumb pressing down right below my lip, my mouth parts slightly from the strain. The calluses of his finger are rough against my soft skin. Even though I know I am pinned between Negan and the house, my body tries to move further back, and I can feel rough brick scrape against my exposed shoulders. 

“Who exactly do you think you are? What the fuck do you think this is? This is not some fucking game you can play with me.” He is speaking low enough to not draw the attention of the twenty or so people on the other side of the house, but still manages to intimidate me enough for my lower belly to coil up. We are almost invisible from the street in the darkness, I could fall to my knees in front of him right here and no one would know. I feel dizzy, fear and lust tugging at me, fighting for my undivided attention. “You might be able to get away with this sort of shit with the boys you play around with, but believe you me, I’m in a whole other fucking league. Do not poke the bear. You make me wanna do all sorts of bad things to you. You are in way over your fucking head, girl.”

It dawns on me that I’ve pushed him too far. It had started with only wanting to make him uncomfortable. I was mad that he’d made my life so fucking hard. I was trying to punish him for a crime he didn’t necessarily know he had committed. I’ve had my fun, been the asshole, but this is about to take a direction I’m not sure if I’m ready for. I know I should stop, but it’s like an addiction at this point, this feeling I get with him, I feel more alive than I do in any other situation.

“Let me go,” I hiss.

“As I understand you are fucking grounded,” he hisses back. “Get back upstairs.”

“You’re not my fucking dad.”

“Believe me, I know,” he smirks mischievously, “but someone has to treat you to some discipline and boundaries.”

My belly knots at his words and I feel heat spread through me. I want to resist, I want to punch him, but I also want to kiss him and have him fuck me up against the wall. I am a shaky, weak mess when he pulls away. He stares me down, waiting for my next move. I don’t know what it is, and then he’s tired of waiting.

“Go,” he rumbles, and I run into the house, feeling his eyes at my back.

I lock the door to my room as soon as I get in there. I have no choice, but to pull my panties off under my skirt and rub my clit. In no time I am coming on my own hand, circling my clit with my thumb as I fuck myself with two fingers, biting down on my lip as to not scream his name loud enough for his wife and my parents to hear me all the way outside.


	4. Part 3: May 2007

“I tried to get away, I promise.”

I tried calling Liv all through Sunday, but with no luck. I try to follow suit with her as she walks down the hall on her way to math.

“Ugh,” she utters. 

She really isn’t speaking to me. It’s time to bring out the big guns.

“I’ll make it up to you,” I say, but she keeps walking. “I’ll have Finn bring his brother next time! He’ll be home from college next month, and he’ll bring his roommate.”

This catches her attention. She stops abruptly and lets me catch up to her.

“You fucking better,” she smiles slyly at me, and all is forgiven. Dangle a piece of man candy in front of her and she’s hooked. “So how did you fail so miserably at getting away?” She hooks her arm with mine as we walk further down the halls.

“Negan…” I mumble.

“What?” She looks stunned.

“He caught me climbing out my window,” I say and she gasps. “Even worse, I was in the navy skirt…”

“Fuck!” She exclaims. “Well bitch, if he didn’t wanna fuck you before, he sure as hell wants to now.” She is positively giddy.

“Don’t even start with that…” I sigh.

She just laughs at me. I choose not to tell her the rest of the story, she might combust into flames.

***

When the end of May, and graduation, is on the horizon I am in the midst of a relationship with Finn. I have been avoiding Negan, and he’s been avoiding me. I am sure our encounter under my bedroom window has put him in a position where we can't interact, it sure as hell has done that to me. When we are in class he lets me sit still and do my own thing, and despite this my GPA is decent. Even though I am with Finn there is still a dull ache in me that he can’t satisfy. I stay with him though, giving him a chance. I know where the ache stems from, and there is nothing to do, but give it time to blow over. 

The bell has rung for the last class. I’m going home with Finn. His parents are staying out late, so we have the entire house to ourselves. I follow him down to the locker rooms for him to get some things he forgot and I get an impulse, I am in sore need for new thrills. As he slips through the door, I follow him and pull him with me between the lockers.

“I wanna have some fun,” I wink and push him up against a locker.

“Whoa,” he says and he puts his hands up. “What if someone catches us?”

“Live a little,” I coo and he chuckles in response.

The fact is that the thought of someone walking in on us is what is driving me. I feel adventurous, this sudden streak of exhibitionism feeding my inner thrillseeker. The fact that this is Negan’s territory makes it even more exhilarating. More than a little part of me wants Negan to come in and catch us. I want him to see me do all sorts of bad stuff. I have been so good at avoiding him, but with my lust comes the desire to get back into a power struggle with him. 

I kiss Finn deeply and he is eager to reciprocate. He sits down on a bench and pulls me over to him, urging me to straddle him. I climb on, my skirt laying loosely over my thighs and it only barely covers my ass. I can feel Finn’s raging erection push against my crotch. As I kiss him greedily my body moves, making my sex rub against him, the friction makes my panties damp. Finn moans against me and grabs hold of the hem of my t-shirt. He helps me pull it over my head and soon his hands are all over me, mapping the bare skin of my back and the cups of my black, lacy bra. I am just about ready to unzip his jeans and ride his cock when he abruptly stops. He stands up so fast I almost fall on my ass, but instead I stumble back against a locker.

“What the flying fuck is going on in here?” Negan looks at Finn first, but soon he looks closer in my direction and I see his entire frame harden. “Get out, you dumb fuck!” He shouts at Finn, who scurries out of the room like a coward, leaving me to face Negan’s wrath on my own. He walks up to me, his boots loud and menacing. Soon he is only a few feet in front of me staring me down.

“Did you want me to fucking catch you, or are you just dumb enough to think you could get away with doing this here?” He barks.

“Yes,” I flush.

“Yes what?” He demands.

“I wanted to get caught,” I admit. “I wanted you to see me. I want you to want me,” I whisper, my breath ragged.

“See, I don’t think you really want that. I think you better keep to that fucking boy instead, the one who is scared of me, you are not ready for a fucking man. You should grow the fuck up, and stop playing this game.”

“Don’t you want me?” I whimper, so hungry for him I feel like I am close to falling apart.

He shifts uncomfortably and I see his eyes dart down my body, but he doesn’t answer me. He is so close to me that I can almost feel his pulse rising, and he has a full view of my almost bare chest rising and falling with my ragged breath. I take a small step towards him.

“What the fuck do you think is about to happen here?” He huffs.

I answer by falling to my knees in front of him, looking up at him like a begging puppy. I swallow hard.

“Fuck, girl,” he groans. “You are actually about to fucking do this aren’t you?” I hear his tone is somewhere between angry and mocking, but I don’t care, if anything it spurs me on. I want to be putty in his hands, want him to do with me whatever he wants. I want to be his, want to live in this mess of lust and rage forever. I can see his cock swelling through his jeans. Finn is hard if I only look at his junk, but the bulge in his pants is nothing compared to this. I move to unbuckle his belt, but he stops me.

“Get up,” he janks me up to my feet again and pushes me roughly away, making me fall against the locker. “This is fucked up, you know that?» He sounds disgusted, but I can see him rub his hard-on through his jeans for a moment. “Wanting me, of all people, to fuck that pretty little face.” 

My breath catches in my throat, I want to scream at him. If I am fucked up, then so is he. He plays this game just as well as I do.

He picks up my shirt and throws it at me. “Get out,” he says, and makes his way to the coaches office.

I walk out of the locker room, a humiliated mess, and see Finn waiting for me down the hall. I quickly pull myself together and beam nonchalantly at him.

“What the fuck was that about?” He asks, looking as if he is ready to make a run for it before Negan comes out to kill him.

“He’s my dad’s best friend, he is protective of me.”

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me this?” Finn whines. 

“What?” I look at him curiously. “Does he scare you, or something?”

“Of course! He has a mad temper! And have you seen that man swing a bat?”

He scares me too, but I have made up my mind, he will not get to toy with me like this again. I am going to make him wish he hadn’t humiliated me like this. I am going to drive him crazy. He is going to want me so bad when I am done that he will have no choice, but to ravage me like a wild man. It is time to up the ante.

***

My plan is taking shape. I know Lucille is going away, and as much as it makes me feel bad for her, I am going to use my weekend to destroy Negan’s willpower. My need for him trumps all else. He is coming over for the usual Friday night dinner, and this one I am definitely attending. My mother is very pleased I have decided to stay for dinner. All through prep and cook she goes on and on about how lovely it is that I am finally deciding to stay in for a Friday night. I help her eagerly, feeling more than a little excited about the night ahead.

Negan is coming over at approximately seven, so I go upstairs to get ready to make sure I see him walk up the driveway. I wait by the window, ready to start the process of changing at the perfect time. When he walks up I pull my t-shirt over my head. I discreetly look down and see him coming to a halt. He’s seen me. I wiggle out of my skirt. He is still standing stock still. I unhook my bra still standing right in front of the window, before walking to the other side of the room to find a new bra and a cute, flowy dress. I relish in knowing he will have to sit across from me all night having just seen my bare tits for the first time. Just as I pull my dress over my head, the doorbell rings. 

“I’ll get it!” I yell and skip down the stairs.

I beam at him when I open the door. “Welcome.”

“Thanks.” He sounds perfectly pleasant, but I see his jaw is tight.

“I decided to join you guys for dinner tonight,” I smile mischievously as I turn to walk into the dining room. “It’s been too long.”

He follows me and we join my parents at the table. 

“I hope she’s been behaving in school,” my mom says as she pours the wine, “since that ditching incident we had the other week.”

I study his face, but the lie he spins comes out like it’s the most natural thing. “She’s fine, no complaints.”

All through dinner I try to catch his eye, and when I do I smirk knowingly at him. Alas, I can’t seem to get a rise out of him. He acts perfectly natural as he compliments the food and wine, asks my parents about the work week and discusses politics. He is his usual charming self with them, even though he just watched their little girl going at it in school, even though he just saw my bare chest through the window. When we are done I help my parents clear the table, and that’s when I finally get a reaction. I lean to get a dish from the table, and in a split second I see his eyes look down my dress. My mom and dad walk over to the kitchen three steps ahead of me, and when I turn to look at him he mouths careful at me. What should I be careful about, I wonder? Teasing him, or my parents’ seeing?

As the night draws to a close and Negan has made his way next door again I just can’t end my night without any excitement.

“We have so many leftovers,” I say and help my mom box it up for the fridge.

“I really miscalculated today,” she sighs.

“Maybe Negan would like some, since Lucille is gone and all,” I suggest.

“Good idea.”

“I’ll bring it over,” I say and put together a serving for him before she has time to answer.   
I hurry over, giddy as a child. I ring the doorbell and when he opens the door to find me standing there alone he pulls me in through the door and slams it shut behind me. He pins my arms down my side, making me drop the container on the floor. He is gripping me so tightly that my skin turns white under his fingers. I can see his chest heaving.

“You shouldn’t have fucking let me see you like that,” he growls. “And you shouldn’t be here.”

“Maybe,” I whisper, “but I want to be.”

A deep primal groan rumbles through him. “You need to know your fucking place. You shouldn’t do these things. Not with anyone, shit, especially not with me.”

“I’m eighteen,” I state, locking my eyes to his.

“Doesn’t help the fucking fact that you’re in school and the daughter of one of my dearest friends.”

“I’ll graduate soon,” I am quick to point out.

He looks at me like a man possessed. He pushes me up against the wall and plants a hungry kiss on my lips, I am stunned at first, but press against him as best I can. He is an intense kisser, kissing me hard and rough. Our tongues dance and my chin gets raw from his beard scraping it. He lets my arms go and lifts me up, my legs around his waist, and I reach around his neck. Negan carries me over to the dining room and sits me down on the table, breaking from the kiss he pushes my torso back, so I lay flat on the table, my legs dangling off the side.

“Was this what you wanted me to fucking do?” He looms over me and pulls my dress up around my waist before yanking my panties down my legs. “Did you want me to take you right on the dining room table in front of your fucking parents?” 

Negan lets a calloused hand cup my sex. “Got nothing to say?”

“I don’t know…” I stutter through my arousal.

He slides his thumb over my clit and down through my folds, making me shiver, before sliding a thick finger into me. I have to catch my breath. I have been touched like this many times, but the feeling I get with him is a million times more exhilarating.

“I think you do know,” he says, his voice deep and coarse. “I can feel how wet you are, little girl.”

I whimper as he starts pumping his finger in and out of me, and when his thumb starts to rub my clit I try to squirm my way up to my elbows to really see what he’s doing to me, but Negan won’t let me. With his other hand he pushes me back down, before keeping it firmly on my stomach to pin me into place. He starts moving faster, making me moan out his name. I can’t believe I am finally getting what I want, that it is really Negan touching me, and not just me pretending he is. He adds another finger to my greedy hole, and I can hear how wet I am as he starts moving. I feel like I am about to burst. My orgasm is building fast and hard.

“Shit, Y/N,” Negan mutters. “Your pussy is fucking perfect.”

He hooks his fingers, hitting my g-spot and I am done for. I scream out as his hand forces the orgasm out of me. My vision blurs and I faintly hear him saying good girl. When I come down he leans over me.

“You should go home,” he growls in my ear.

I get up and have to take a moment, my knees are wobbly. I see my panties laying on the floor next to my sneakered feet. I bend to pick them up, but can’t before his foot is in my way.

“I’m fucking keeping those.”


	5. Part 4: Graduation

I live on what had occured between Negan and me for a week. I’ve barely seen him since I was flat on my back on his dining room table. He has been on my mind constantly. In all my classes I picture him sitting by the teacher’s desk. When eating dinner I get so worked up I have to excuse myself, run upstairs and take a moment to really allow myself to feel my pining for him. Every night in my sleep I dream of him, and wake up soaked in sweat. I finally had to break up with Finn, the thought of being with him had become excruciatingly boring after Negan had dominated me on that table. The thought of Negan still holding on to my panties is almost too much to bear, in my mind it makes me his. But then I remember Lucille...

***

I’ve smiled, walked those twenty steps across the stage and gotten my diploma. I half heartedly throw my cap in the air at the appropriate time. I don’t feel the way I thought I would. I thought graduating and finally saying goodbye to the big brick building behind the stage would leave me ecstatic. Today, however, I don’t want to leave. One of the reasons I was looking so much forward to getting out of this shit hole town was that I would finally be far enough from Negan to get him out of my system. Now he’s the reason I want to stay.

When at long last I have taken the mandatory photos with mom and dad and Liv, I leave them to mingle. I walk around, my eyes scanning the crowd I finally see him. He is in the middle of the field with all his players around him. As expected he ignores me and poses with his team as if he hasn’t had me spread across his table with his fingers deep inside of me, my nethers clench at the thought. I need him. I need to get to him, and I know exactly how.

Finn looks at me longingly. I walk up to him and give him a big hug whispering congratulations softly and seductively in his ear, he is so easily fired up that he is already visibly bothered. Negan locks eyes with me and breaks free. He starts walking across the field. He looks back at me and I am sure he wants me to follow him. I walk through the crowd at a safe distance, I see my parents busy in conversation with Liv’s, and walk into the building after him. I follow ten feet behind him all the way down to the locker rooms and into the coach’s office. He leans against the desk and I stand in front of him. The room is lined with extra equipment and the odd piece of furniture. I’m guessing the PE department has the same storage problem the rest of this fucking school has.

“You followed,” he growls at me.

“Didn’t you want me to?” I ask innocently. 

“You need to fucking stop,”

“Stop what?” I ask.

“Trying to make me fucking snap,” his eyes are dark as a stormy sky right before the weather breaks, “and using that poor son of a bitch to make me want to tear you away and destroy you.”

“Destroy me, huh?” I feel my cunt throb almost painfully.

When he doesn’t answer I continue. “I have officially graduated,” I say and take a step forward. 

“I know, I’m invited to the party.” His voice rumbles so deep I can almost feel it course through my body and down my spine. I can practically feel his rage and hunger for me cling to the air around us.

“Aren’t you gonna congratulate me?” I take another step.

“That day when I caught you, were you gonna fuck him in there?” He nods towards the locker room. 

I lock eyes with him, “Yes,” I say smoothly. My voice coming out soft as velvet as I maintain eye contact.

He audibly exhales. “You are a fucking dirty girl aren’t you?”

I simply nod in response.

He abruptly stands up and pulls me to him. He growls as he pulls my gown up, revealing the short, black dress I’d picked out this morning with him in mind. His jaw clenches and he lifts me up before sitting us both down on a bench, just like the one I had been on with Finn.

His hands are almost painful on my body, possessively exploring the curve of my hips, the skin of my thighs. “You waste all of this on those fucking assholes,” he growls and roughly kiss my neck.

“Yes,” I moan.

“That’s a fucking shame,” he breathes. “You’re gonna see how a grown ass man feels now. I am gonna fucking ravage you.” He bites down on my neck and I scream out in delight.

All I feel is my body reveling in the moment. Well, and the excitement building in Negan’s pants of course. I rock myself against his lap, feeling his raging erection against my soaked sex. I moan against him and hear him groan in response. I need to feel his fingers inside of me again.

I lift myself up on my knees and go to work on his belt. With my hands fumbling around where I can’t see them, I open it and free his cock from his pants and boxers. I grasp it softly, feeling him in my hand, velvet smooth and rock hard at the same time. I curse under my breath, it is fucking huge. He is right, this will be so much better than it is with all those other guys. I move my hand up and down his impressive length, my pace slow and steady. His breath becomes heavy and ragged, he growls against my throat. He moans and meets my lips for another kiss. I gasp as I feel his hand reach between my thighs. Shivers run through me as he slides my panties to the side, making the delicate fabric graze my soft folds in the process. Soon a skilled finger finds its way to that little bundle of nerves, making me arch my back at the sudden pleasure. I squirm from his continued teasing of my clit, the need for him to enter me building with every second that passes.

“Stop fucking moving,” he commands and grips my waist tightly with his free hand. “You wanted this so fucking take it, don’t chiken out on me.”

“Negan… please…” I whimper at him.

“Tell me what you want,” his voice is gruff.

“I want to feel you inside me…”

“Oh?” His voice is gravelly with lust. “Like this?” He teases and shoves a long finger slowly between my folds, entering me.

I gasp and he takes it as a sign to add another thick finger, before starting to slowly move them both in and out of me. I feel myself melt around him, pushing down on his skillful fingers, wanting him deeper. My grasp on his cock tightens slightly as the need to wrap my body around it grows.

“Negan… please…” I plead again, desperation coloring my breathy words.

“You think you’re fucking ready for me, little girl?” He brings his lips to my ear, his beard rough against the tender skin of my neck. “Ready for me to pull my digits out of that tight pussy and really make you feel what it’s like to be with a real man?”

I only nod in response, afraid any words escaping my lips will be tangled by lust. But nonetheless, my request is fulfilled as Negan plants his strong hands on my hips and lifts me up. I steady myself, letting my knees rest on the bench as Negan positions himself at my entrance before finally guiding me back down slowly, letting his girth slide into my slick hole. I cry out at the sensation of Negan finally bottoming out in me, the feeling of his cock filling me to the brim, going deeper than anyone ever has. My eyes close and my head slips back as he helps me up a little, before slamming me back down on his cock. His breathing gets heavy as I help, setting a pace, riding him, letting him fuck me hard and deep.

Although I am on top, there is no question about who is in charge as I let him control my body, his hands digging into the flesh of my hips as he pulls me up and pushes me back down on him. He cocks his head forward and I feel his lips on my neck, making me break out in goosebumps. I moan at the added sensation as he continues to kiss and nip at me. His kisses get rougher again and I cry out in delight as he bites down, surely marking my tender flesh. He picks up the pace, bucking up into me at an impressive speed and I feel his cock brush against that sweet spot inside of me with every thrust. I get closer to climax and have to open my eyes to look at him, making sure this is really all happening. It builds to the top and before I know it my walls clench around him. I come hard, my eyes locked on his, and he twitches inside me as he lets himself go, filling my insides with his seed.

I collapse on top of him, spent and satisfied. Catching my breath, I rest my head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of him. He lets me collect myself for a minute before lifting me off him and setting me down beside him, my panties still to the side and my dress hitched up around my waist.

“Now I guess you have a fucking party to get ready for?” Negan smirks at me as he gets up and buttons his jeans and tightens his belt. “Wait ten minutes before following me,” he says and leaves the room.

***

“Oh my god!” Liv pulls me away from the crowd the moment I walk out. “You fucking slut!” She is ecstatic.

“What?” I don’t have to fake my shock. What does she know?

“You were in there with him weren’t you?”

“In where with who?”

“In there,” she points toward the school building, “with Negan.”

“Keep you fucking voice down,” I hiss at her.

“Fucking hell!” She yells. “Tell me everything!”

“There is nothing to fucking tell, but just don’t go spreading that shit,” I say, “whatever it is you think you know.”

She looks suspiciously at me.

“Well, if you wanna be a little more convincing with your parents, or his wife,” she smirks, “you might want to hide that bite mark evidence on your neck.”

I gasp and put my hand over the bite. 

“I’ve got you covered.” Liv smiles, unties the silk scarf she thinks makes her look french and gives it to me.

“I love you, Liv,” I say as I tie it around my neck.

“Ride or die bitch,” she winks.

  
  
  
  



	6. Part 5: The Party

“You are going to love college,” Lucille smiles at me and takes a sip of her wine. “Making your own way and your own choices. Some kids find it hard, but you are tough.”

“Thanks,” I smile at her. I feel bad about what I’ve been doing. I love her, but my need for Negan is clouding my judgement. My morals are shattered, and I will let them stay that way.

“Just don’t go out of your way to get into trouble,” my dad says strictly, before he breaks out in a smile.

“She won’t,” Negan smirks, he’s sitting straight across from me and I am still in the dress he fucked me in, “she’s always been so good.” He kicks me under the table. I can still feel how he was inside of me. My pussy is still throbbing from his huge cock manipulating my insides mere hours ago. I have to clench my fists under the table, repressing the impulse to throw myself at his feet. I feel like he’s taunting me.

My mom lets out a little laugh. “If you say so.”

Negan and Lucille are over for a little celebratory post graduation  _ party _ . Yet another get-together my mom can call a party. The conversation goes on, endless talk about college, which major I should pick and how to keep the other students in the dorm from stealing my shit. Negan has a lot to say about that. I have to work hard to even slightly keep up on the conversation. I smile and nod and vaguely answer their questions, but Negan is all I think about, and he knows it. He brushes against my foot as I am in the middle of a sentence, almost making me choke up. He catches my eye with that devilish twinkle. He keeps getting in how good I was in school, always doing as I was told and supporting the baseball team. He’s a fucking tease, but deep down I love it. He is working me up and that is exactly what I want. He’s gonna be sorry he did though.

“You are free to go to your party now, hun,” my mother says after desserts are over.

“And here I was thinking this was the fucking party,” Negan smirks.

“Come on, she doesn’t want to stay with us oldies all night,” Lucille says and winks at me. “She needs to go where the action is.”

Negan’s jaw clenches for just a second, and I hope no one else notices.

I get up and run to my room to get ready. I change my dress out for something even shorter and lower cut. I let my fingers down the silky fabric of the one I was wearing before I hang it in my closet. I never want to wash it, I want it to smell like us and his office forever, and never forget how it felt to have him fuck me for the first time. I study myself in the mirror before running back downstairs, making sure I look good enough to drive him insane. I pop into the dining room to say thank you and bye. They all smile at me, except Negan. He looks like he wants to stop me, and as much as I would rather have a private party with him, that isn’t an option.

***

“What happened? What did I do?” I just want to be drunk already, but Finn won’t leave me alone. Wherever I go, he follows. And now he’s at it again, peppering me with questions.

“Nothing, Finn,” I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “You didn’t do anything.”

“Then take me back!”

“I just don’t want to be with you anymore,” I say, his begging makes me cringe.

“Who are you with?” He is in my face now, I turn to walk away, but he grabs me. “What is that?” He squints his eyes. He forcibly moves the neck of my dress a little down to get a good look at the base of my neck. “Who did that? It sure as hell wasn't me! Is it Nathan? Is he the one you’re fucking!?”

“Fuck you! You are crazy!” I spit my words at him.

“Why don't you want me then?!”

“You don't wanna know.”

“Yes, I do.”

“You bore me, okay! Happy?” I shake him off and he storms off, no doubt to drink some more. If he wasn’t acting like a little shit I might feel bad for him.

“Want me to knock him around a little?” 

I turn to see who’s speaking. A guy I’ve never seen before is standing behind me.

“Excuse me?”

“Looks like he’s being a real pain,” he gives me a half smile. He is handsome, soft looking lips and clear, green eyes. “I’m Chris.” 

Finn’s brother Michael walks up, a cup of beer in his hand.

“Long time no see,” I smile and hug him.

“So you met Y/N,” he says to the new guy. “Can you believe my idiot brother managed to lose her.”

“I cannot,” he pulls a hand through his half long dark hair. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Sure,” I smile and pull Liv, who’s walking by, next to me. “I’ll just have a beer and so will Liv.”

Michael smirks at us, and the both of them walk away to get us our beers.

“So,” I say when they’re out of earshot, “he’s cute.”

“What is your  _ boyfriend _ gonna say about this?” She winks at me. 

“Get a grip,” I say and nudge her. I lean closer and drop my voice, “He’s just my much older lover, who happens to live next door.” I smirk. “He doesn’t decide what I can and can’t do. He’s  _ married  _ for fuck’s sake.”

She lets out a little laugh. “Fuck Y/N, you are so bad.”

“This,” I nod towards Chris, “is just harmless fun. You should have seen Negan though, when I left, he looked like he wanted to stop me and have me all to himself.”

“Ugh,” she utters, “you are so fucking lucky.”

I let Chris get me drinks and tell me all about himself as the night goes on. Finn shoots looks at us all night, but doesn’t bother me again. Chris is nice. He asks me questions about myself and actually listens to what I say, that is more than I can say for all the high school boys I’ve been with. He is funny too, he makes me laugh until my sides hurt on more than one occasion. If I hadn’t already been with Negan today I’m sure I would have kissed him and made a date to see him again, but as the night creeps to an end, and I stop drinking to sober up a bit before heading home, I simply say that it was nice to meet him and go on my way. 

I see that I have gotten texts from Negan as I check my phone in the cab. 

_ “Are you back?” _ He asked at 12 PM. And then again at 1 AM, “ _ Fucking answer me, Y/N. Have you gotten home? Are you safe?” _

My belly flutters, he cares more than I thought. In my newly sober state I  _ almost  _ feel bad that I spent my entire night with someone else, and that I liked it. But then I remember that he has a wife, who he went home to when he’d fucked me in his office. And when I leave for college his life will be the same, he has had his fun and so have I. After this summer, which I sure as hell will make the most of, everything will be back to normal. I can’t put my entire social life on hold for him.

_ “I’m on my way, chill…” _ I write back and put my phone in my purse.

I ask the driver to let me off down the street again. I walk past Negan’s house and see the garage door is open. Negan is leaning against his car, arms crossed. His brow furrows as he sees me and he urges me over with his finger. Walking up to him I can tell he is bothered, his entire form is tense and he is taking deep, controlled breaths.

“You told me to fucking chill?” He looks like he is halfway to tearing me a new one.

I give him a half smile and shrug. I don’t mind him being mad at me, I crave it.

“Are you fuckingdrunk?” He stares me down.

“Not anymore,” I say and sway, making my dress flow in the night air.

“And what did you do when you were?” He murmurs.

“I met this guy.” I smirk. “I think he really liked me.”

“What did you fucking do?” He growls through gritted teeth, and my pussy clenches, my desire to have him fuck me again rising just as fast as his rage.

I lean in real close and put my lips to his ear. “I let him flirt with me and get me drinks all night long,” I say with my breathiest, softest voice. “And I liked it.”

I see his face harden, he looks like he is about to give into his animalistic urges. He looks almost monstrous. He grabs me and pulls me into his garage. He yanks the garage door down, leaving us in utter darkness. I blink a few times to make my eyes adjust, and see the contours of his face. He looks raw and untamed. He is seething with jealousy. He pulls me to him and claims my lips, kissing me roughly. I feel his pulse throbbing veins as I lay my hands on his shoulders, but he won’t let me keep them there. He grabs my wrists, reaches around me and pins them behind my back.

He breaks the kiss. “You are not in control here,” he murmures. “You need to get some damn discipline. There needs to be consequences for your bratty fucking attitude.”

“I know,” I say, my eyes sparkling.

“You are playing a dangerous game,” he says. “You keep driving me fucking crazy.”

“I’ll make it up to you…” He lets my wrists go and I get on my knees. “Please let me do it this time.”

“You want me to put my cock in that pretty fucking mouth?” He looms over me, making me feel small and fragile. I am under his spell, he has got me right where he wants me, and it’s right where I want to be. 

I nod.

“Then fucking beg for it,” he commands.

“Please let me…” I coo, looking up at him.

“Let you what?” He smirks. “Say it…”

“Please let me suck your cock.” My pussy is practically dripping, the way he makes me say it out loud, the way he is controlling me, makes me hungrier for him than I thought was possible.

“Fucking adress me properly, little girl,” he spits his words at me.

“Please let me suck your cock,” I bat my eyes, “sir.”

He lets out a ragged breath and opens his belt, I wait patiently and am rewarded. He pulls his cock out and it is already standing tall, precum seeping from its tip. I take it in my hand and stroke it tenderly before letting it slide in between my lips, the salty taste of his arousal filling my mouth. I take it easy at first before I let my hand drop from his shaft and place both palms on my thighs. I take him as far back as I can without gagging.

“That’s it, take it all the fucking way down,” he breathes. He catches a fistfull of hair at the back of my head and eases me further down on his cock. “Good girl,” he moans as I feel him at the back of my throat. My eyes water, it’s hard to breathe and just as I think I can’t take it anymore he pulls me back off. I take a deep ragged breath. 

“You okay, baby,” he says, smirking down at me.

“Yes,” I cough. 

“You want more?”

“Yes please, sir.”

He chuckles. “Well fuck, that is some can do attitude.”

He leans down and kisses me swiftly on the lips before he eases me back down on his massive cock. I take hold of his thighs and start working my mouth back and forth, going all the way out to the tip before taking him back down and to the back of my throat. Negan helps me, and praises me between his low, rumbly moans. I hollow my cheeks as I move my head away from him and slide my tongue up his length in the process. As he gets closer to climax he gets rougher, tightening his grip on my hair and fucks my mouth, making me gag as I repeatedly take him down my throat. I hear him groan loudly, and just as I think he is about to shoot his load down my throat he pulls me off. He lets go of my hair, places his hand firmly on the back of my neck and pulls me up. He bends me over his car, pushing my face against the hood, pulls my dress up and yanks my panties down with his free hand. His fingers then make their way to my throbbing cunt. He lets them slide through my folds and graze my clit before they linger at my entrance. I whimper needingly, wanting him to push them into me and give me some release.

“You are so fucking wet,” he chuckles. “You love being throat fucked and manhandled don’t you, baby?”

“Yes, Negan,” I moan, my voice strained from his hand on my neck and my face being squished against the hood of the car.

He groans and pushes his huge cock, still slick with my saliva, into me. I nudge forward from the intrusion, he is so far in me that it feels like he’s gonna make my pussy deeper. He pulls out and slams back into me, and I can hear him pant and moan behind me.

“You feel so fucking good wrapped around my cock like this, baby,” he hisses and his thrusts intensifiy further.

I scream out and he puts his hand on my mouth to muffle them.

“Be quiet,” he hisses, “wouldn’t want to wake the fucking neighbours do we?”

He continues his unforgiving rampage of my sex, the filthy sound of our flesh colliding and my wetness between us filling the garage. I can smell the motor oil in the air and the whiskey on his breath and it is all I can take before my pussy quivers around him. I see stars and cramp up. The uncontrolled convulsions of my cunt practically milks Negan’s cock. He curses loudly and with another two hard thrusts I feel him emptying his seed in me. His cum leaks out around him, and when he pulls out I feel it drip down my inner thigh. His hand lets go of my neck, and travels down my spine. I pant, catching my breath, my cunt still throbbing from the intense orgasm he forced out of me.

“It's almost two AM,” he grins, he helps me up and kisses my forehead, his act of comfort taking me by surprise. “Go home before your dad calls the cops.”

  
  



	7. Part 6: June 2007

“I must admit I feel a lot better knowing Negan will go with you.” My dad smiles at me, and my heart skips a beat. “I’ve always been real sceptical about these grad trips.” 

My parents are hanging around me as if I’m leaving for college already while I make my way to the hallway. I step into my shoes, pick my bag up, and get forced into some weird three way hug.

“You keep Liv around you during free time, okay? New York city can be a rough place, and you girls gotta have each other’s backs,” my mom says.

“We always do,” I chirp. “Now you guys are going to have to let go of me, or I’m gonna miss the flight.”

“Do as Negan says,” my dad chuckles as I open the door to see a cab pulled up on the curb, Negan is already sitting in the back, window rolled down. “We’ll know if you don’t.” He jokingly bumps my shoulder with his fist and waves at his friend.

I turn my back to leave and have to bite down on my tongue to keep from letting out a little scream. All I want is to do as Negan says. To do all of the bad things he commands me to do. The driver helps me put my bag in the back and I jump in the back seat with Negan.

“Hi,” he smiles knowingly. 

“And hi to you,” I give him a half smile. “Thanks for sharing your cab with me.”

“Anytime,” he huffs, “and ride’s on me, baby girl.” My heart flutters and my lower belly coils up at his words. I am just about to tease him right back, when the driver opens his door and gets in.

I put my seat belt on and feel my heart racing against the tight, black strap. I am going to be in New York city with Negan. Sure, about forty other kids and two teachers will be there too, but I can’t help hoping against hope that we’ll get a little time alone. I look at him and smirk, not saying anything due to the driver. Negan grins at me, knowing exactly what I’m thinking about. He darts his eyes over to the driver, making sure he is looking straight ahead, and squeezes my hand. We are completely silent throughout the ride, but the energy between us is electric nonetheless. 

When we get to the airport we are to meet up with everyone else by the check-in machines. 

“Come here.” Negan walks towards the hallway to the restrooms.

“Roll call is in fifteen minutes,” I say, but I still follow and look down the small hallway.

“We can make it there in five,” he smirks, swiftly kisses me and drops his voice, “And I swear I can make you fucking cum before then.”

We hurriedly make our way down the hallway and Negan drags me around a corner which leads to nothing, but a broom closet. He pulls me in tight, our bags dropping to the floor with a loud thud in the process. He’s got me up against the wall in no time at all, and hungrily kisses me. He boxes me in with one arm while the other trails down my body and pops the button of my shorts open, and before I know it his fingers are between my folds and massaging my clit. My breath hitches in my throat as a tense thrum goes through me, a deep moan works its way out of my throat while his lips press hard against mine, causing him to break from it. He brings his mouth to my ear, his hot, rustling breath tickles my ear canals and sends humming tingles through me. 

“Be fucking quiet,” he tells me, his voice nasty and low, dripping in lust. 

I clench my jaw tightly, working hard at staying still and quiet, as two rough fingers rub painstakingly slow against my clit. My cunt drips and soaks my panties, making me fear for my light, jean shorts; if they stain our filthy little secret is in danger. Negan continues his slow torture of my clit until I’m coming apart at the seams, getting impatient and buck my hips against him.

“You wanna cum?” He growls in my ear and all I can do is let out a strangled _yes_ in return. Negan licks his lower lip. “Come on, baby,” he says before hooking two long fingers into me, letting his thumb take over the teasing of my clit. His thumb speeds up and his fingers press against my g-spot, and it’s all I can take before I come apart around him. I whimper and squeeze my jaw, shutting it tighter as that familiar light feeling spreads throughout my body. My entire frame trembles and he snakes his other arm around my waist, holding me up. As I come down he slowly pulls his hand out of my shorts and looks at his watch.

“Damn, will you look at that.” He smirks. “I made that hungry cunt come in five fucking minutes.”

Though I know the risk of having him take me in a public place is part of what makes me so hot and bothered, I keep that little fact to myself.

Liv eyes me as we walk up to the rest of our party and I feel my face flush. She always sees right through me. Her eyes sparkle and her lips curl, she looks like she wants to do a cheer in my honour. I shoot her a warning look. Negan _cannot_ know she knows, that would make him madder than ever, and not in the good way, he’d never touch me again in a million years. I know Liv wouldn’t tell a soul, but he doesn’t.

The plane ride is cruel to my now over sensitive sex. With every bump my pussy clenches and I am again reminded of how damp my panties are. These days Negan reduces me to a ball of lust and desperation every time he comes near me, it is so torturous that it almost makes me long for my days of unfulfilled pining for him.

Arriving in New York we check in to our hotel and catch a show, all of us together. All through our first night Negan and I can get no time alone. Our adventures in the airport were amazing, but it’s made me so fucking hungry for his cock. We share quick looks and smiles, but Miss Peterson the Art teacher is there and so is Mr. James our counselor. Miss Peterson is hanging on to Negan like a tick, and I get it they are the only three adults on this trip, and Mr. James is ancient compared to the two of them, who are roughly the same age.

I of course share a room with Liv. And that first night I confide in her what has happened, all of it, and she hangs on my every word, asking a million questions. She urges me on and I text him a photo of me in bed, and he tells me how bad he wants to be there and have dirty hotel sex with me, but that he has to spend the night hanging out with the other teachers. I fall asleep and dream of just that, of him ravaging me in his hotel room.

Saturday breezes by in a whirlwind of sightseeing, shopping and impromptu lectures, and on Sunday we split into groups. Negan takes the students on the boys and girls baseball team to Yankee Stadium, Miss Peterson takes me and others who opted for the art museums on a tour and the rest are left sightseeing with Mr. James.

Midway through the tour of the Met I am standing on my own admiring _Christina’s World,_ having let the others move on through the museum. The warm colors and open field around her speak to me. She is out on her own, but still reaches out for the familiarity of home, I can’t help but wonder if that is how I’ll feel in a few short months. I am lost in the painting's beauty before a message ticking in on my phone breaks its spell. Negan’s name pops up on my screen and I quickly look around, making sure Miss Peterson hasn't made her way back to me before I slide the screen to open the message.

_I heard him talk about you, stupid idiot thinking he’s more silent than he is._

_Who?_ I reply even though I instinctively know.

_Finn. I want to fucking kill him._

_What did he say?_

_He went on about how fucking tight you are, how he has fucked you in every position and that he’s gonna get you back before this trip is over._

_He isn’t._ I sigh, the sound resonating through the quiet of the exhibit.

_Of course he isn’t. He fucking never will again. If he as much as touches you he loses a hand._

_He’s not really my type anymore…_ I type, but get no immediate response.

_Come to my room tonight_ 😉 I try again. 

To that he replies instantly. _I can’t._

My brow furrows, two whole nights have gone by with us in the same hotel without having sex. I’m more than a little disappointed, I was really hoping we would get the opportunity to take advantage of the thrill of being away together, even though it is on an official school trip.

_Why?_ 🥺 

_Can’t take that fucking risk._

My jaw clenches.

_But you did on graduation and in the airport, that was just as risky. If not more..._

_That was a mistake._

It shouldn’t hurt, but it does. I know he means that _the risk_ was a mistake, but I can’t shake off the hurt little girl on my shoulder.

_Your loss… Guess I’ll get my kicks somewhere else._ I lock my phone and slip it back in my bag.

I catch up to the other and continue the tour. The art is gorgeous and challenging and I am hanging on Miss Peterson’s every word. I had no idea how into art I was, and toy with the idea to make art history my major when I go to college. After the tour we stop for coffee in the museum cafe and I check my phone again, having left it on silent in my bag for the last half of the tour.

Three messages from Negan are waiting for me.

_What the fuck is that suppose to mean?_

_You are being a fucking brat, Y/N. Answer me!_

_You are in a world of trouble._

I don’t answer.

***

It is our last night and we go out to eat as a group, we are to leave Sunday afternoon, and I am doing my best to ignore Negan. He sits at the head of the table, deep in conversation with Mr. James. I talk to Nathan about the museum tour, and he is actually interested. It turns out he has an artsy side he never let show. Our conversation becomes all consuming, but after a while I have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom. To my surprise Negan follows me and corners me when we’re out of view. 

“Don’t be like this, Y/N,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Be like what,” I say nonchalantly.

“Don’t be a fucking brat.” He stares me down. “We can’t do anything here, not around them. You fucking know that.”

“We can,” I wink and nod towards the ladies’ room. “Let me repay the favor you did for me in the airport,” I coo, “sir.”

His eyes darken and that animalistic look drags across his face. He is just about to kiss me as we hear footsteps approaching. For a second fear flashes in his eyes and we just manage to move away from each other as Miss Peterson rounds the corner.

“Thank you,” I improvise. “I will be sure to check that out the next time I’m here.” 

“No problem,” he says tensely before he slips into the mens’ room and I walk back to the group, smiling at Miss Peterson as I pass her.

When I’ve made my way back to the table Liv looks at me in horror. I give her a small smile to let her know it is all alright. I take a deep sip of my soda, and then my phone buzzes. 

_That was too close a call. We stay away from each other until this trip is over, is that clear?_

_Clear…_ I reply, but I am not happy about it.

I am just about to put my phone away as it buzzes again. _And you better not do anything fucking stupid, no getting your kicks somewhere else. You are mine._

My heart rate speeds up so much I think I might faint. He just called me his, and that is all I want to be. If being careful throughout the rest of this trip is what it takes to stay his, I’ll do it. No question about it.

  
  



	8. Part 7: June 2007

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is Y/N's turn to feel jealousy course through her body.

When I get back home from New York my aunt Jill is there. 

“Surprise!”

I flinch so hard I almost crash into a wall. In front of me my aunt Jill is smiling from ear to ear.

“Congratulations, honey,” she pulls me into a deep hug. “I’m so sorry I didn’t make it to your graduation.”

“Don’t be,” I chirp, “just show me what you brought me as a gift.”

She winks at me and pulls me into the living room. “I stole it from the set,” she drops her voice jokingly, “don’t tell anyone.” She hands me a small silver jewelry box.

“Hold on, is this on the show?” I turn the little box around between my fingers. “Oh my God! This is Sarah’s!”

“Indeed it is.” She winks at me.

“Won’t they fire you?”

“Noone saw me take it, plus I wrote it out of the show. Won’t tell you how though, no spoilers and all.”

Aunt Jill is all I want to be. She is tough and willful and has my dream job; she is a writer for one of my favorite shows. 

“Your other gift is that I’m gonna stay for two whole weeks!” She beams at me and I squeal in delight and hug her again.

***

The week following the grad trip was hard. With Lucille, my parents and aunt Jill around I am totally Negan-starved. All that keeps me going is knowing Lucille will leave for a work trip soon, which means that I might be able to sneak over to his house or pretend to go out with Liv. I know she will cover for me, no questions asked.

When the day of Lucille’s departure rolls around my dad invites Negan over for dinner and drinks, but as the evening progresses everything takes a turn for the worst. Negan and I share a few stolen looks over dinner, but when it is over and all the grown ups are well into their third or fourth glass of wine it becomes abundantly clear to me that aunt Jill is not immune to Negan’s charm.

As we retreat into the living room he winks at her and my jaw instinctively clenches. She’s blatantly flirting with him and he is reciprocating. I cannot believe he is doing this. And to have the nerve to do it right in front of me? Aunt Jill does that thing where she pulls her hand through her hair and leaves is to fall  _ just so _ . I’ve seen her do it a million times before, and I see men fall under her spell every time. Aunt Jill is a gorgeous woman. She is my mother’s little sister by seven years, and she has the kind of beauty that isn’t typical, you don’t see it every day. Men can’t just look at her once to check her out, she leaves them coming back, they can sometimes become almost obsessed with her. What annoys me most tonight though is that she is my favourite, the  _ cool _ aunt, and now Negan is the one looking at her. This Friday night dinner can’t end soon enough, and when he finally leaves they smile at each other, aunt Jill’s head falling to the side as if she was some teenage girl with a big, fat crush. As if she was me back in April...

“Jill, he’s married,” my mom says as soon as Negan is gone and us girls are left by ourselves in the living room.

My dad has gone to bed to watch some TV before he falls asleep, and I am attempting to read curled up in his armchair. I can hardly focus through my frustration at the night’s events, but give it my best shot.

“Doesn’t hurt to look,” she smirks.

“But you're not just looking, are you? That is some serious flirting.”

“He is just as much a part of it as I am.” I just manage to stifle an angry groan.

“Well, he is a  _ notorious _ flirt. You have no idea the women he encourages, sometimes I wonder why Lucille just lets it slide,” my mom sighs.

“Hey, you don’t let a man like that go. With those looks and that charm? Bet he’s treating her right, if you know what I mean. Sex on legs that one,” aunt Jill says dropping her voice and winking at my mom. “Don’t you tell me you haven’t noticed it.”

I can’t take it anymore. I smack my book shut, stand up and walk towards the stairs. I want to slap her, the feeling of my hands fisting and my nails digging into my palms shooting through me and fuelling my anger.

“You going to bed, hun?”

“Yes,” I mutter through my frustration

I hear them speaking in hushed tones as I walk up the stairs.

“Did I upset her?”

“Well, she loves Lucille. Besides, she’s been moody and elusive this past half year,” I hear my mom tell her. “I don’t know what’s gotten into her…” 

If she only knew what had gotten  _ into  _ me...

I shut the door to my room, I feel like I want to scream, intense pressure is building rapidly in my chest. I can’t sit still, I can’t think straight. As I pace the floor, images of Negan and aunt Jill invade my mind, and then it leads to imagining him with a thousand other faceless women. It kills me that I am his, but that he can’t ever be mine. It gives me hell. I know that this was what I signed up for, he’s a goddamn married man, but still thinking of him with anyone else makes me insane. Seeing him with Lucille I can sort of handle, but this is too fucking much. I want to run over there and pick a fight, but I opt for writing. If I were to call I might not be able to control my voice, giving up our filthy secret to everyone in the house.

_ What the fuck was that?!  _ My fingers tremble as I write. I have to sit on my hands while I wait for a reply, and it feels like it’s taking forever.

_ Well shit! You jealous, baby girl? _

I want to reply, but have no idea what to write next. I don’t want to admit it to him though that is exactly what it is. I fucking hate how smug he seems about it. 

_ How does it feel, baby girl? Maybe now you see how it makes my fucking blood boil when you toy around with those boys? To think of you with someone else... Shit, it makes me want to tie you the fuck up and keep you all to myself.  _

My breath hitches and my sex clenches invoulantearly. I want to be mad at him, not turned on. Fuck him. Now I want to make his cock twitch from wanting me, to make him so hard the throbbing of his dick hurts. That will be my revenge...

_ Why don’t you? _ I walk over to the window and see him looking straight up at me. Time to get creative. I slouch down on my bed, propping myself up against the headboard knowing he can partly see me, even though my bottom half is out of view.

_ Damn, babygirl.  _ He writes.  _ Careful, you might just regret saying that shit to me. _

I snicker as I pull my skirt up around my waist and take a picture of my legs spread from my upper thighs and down, just barely letting my panties show.  _ Wanna tie these pretty little legs up? _

I can just about make out his brow tensing through the window, but I get no reply.

I up the ante.  _ How do you want them? I guess if you tie them to my wrists and flip my ass in the air you get the access you need to use me as you please. _

Still no reply. 

_ How long would you keep me like that? Would you fuck me and make me stay, ready to use again? _

He shifts where he’s standing and soon my phone buzzes.

_ Climb out your window and get your ass over here. _

I smirk down at the screen. But still don’t move.

_ Now. Don’t you fucking make me ask you again! _

I climb off the bed and pull my skirt back in place. I tip-toe over to the window and gently ease it open. A pleasantly warm breeze through the night air dances through my hair before I fling my leg over the window pane and start working on my decline. I scurry over to Negan and Lucille’s house hoping that I am veiled by the darkness. When I arrive and tap on the door he opens it instantly. He stares at me with intense, stormy eyes, his pupils dilated with lust and beckons me to come in. I walk into the hallway on shaky legs, so painfully aware of the damp mess I made of my panties that every step I take makes my clit throb longingly. 

Negan snaps the door shut behind me and though his facial expression is hard and tense, his voice comes out perfectly calm, but somehow still commanding, “Get your ass upstairs…”

I do as I am told, my feet lightly guiding me up the narrow staircase. As I ascend I feel Negan’s eyes stare a hole in my back and hear his feet thud decisively up the stairs behind me. At the top he firmly, but slowly guides me into the bedroom, the one I know he shares with Lucille. The bed is covered in deep charcoal colored sheets, and on top of it are two lengths of what looks like very rough rope. I quiver in anticipation, and my yearning for what is to come next mixes with an underlying feeling of fear.

“Get naked,” he growls, his broad frame looming over me.

I pull my sweater and shirt over my head, shimmy out of my skirt, and am left in my underwear, tube socks and sneakers.

“Baby, you look good enough to eat.” The rumble of his voice sends shivers through me, making me break out in goosebumps. “Now, take it all off so I can.”

I swallow to force some moistness back into my mouth, which has all of a sudden gone desert dry, before I reach around to my back and unclasp my bra. He lets out a low grunt and I continue to kick off my shoes and peel my tube socks off before I let my panties drop to the floor of his bedroom. I am suddenly very aware that I am completely naked, and he is fully dressed. I realize that this is the first time I am completely bare in front of him, through all the events of the past few months he has never seen all of me like this, and it makes me feel small and fragile, but the feeling fuels my arousal making every cell of my body tingle and go into high alert, I can even feel the way the air hangs in the air against my naked body.

“Tonight I am going to take my fucking time,” he drawls and palms his cock through his jeans. “Get on the bed, legs under you.”

I climb up on his bed almost noiselessly, the mattress is firm and has little give. I sit on my heels, my hands softly placed on my thighs. Negan is hovering over me like a threatening storm, the contours of his face coated in a dark, wolfish expression.

“Was this what you wanted?” He says almost mockingly, picking up a length of rope.

My face is red hot as I nod.

“Answer me…” He rumbles.

“It’s what I wanted, sir,” my voice is meek.

Negan firmly takes hold of one of my wrists and ties it unforgivingly tight to the corresponding ankle. The rough texture graws at my delicate skin, it will no doubt leave a bright red mark in no time. When he is finally done tying me up I am practically immobile, I can tip over, but that is pretty much it. He grins down at me and pokes my side making me do just that. 

“Can’t get up, can you?” He smirks and grazes my cheek with a calloused hand. “Fuck, baby… You look so beautiful, all helpless and tied up. My dirty girl…”

I squirm against the ropes instinctively, my body wanting to be free so it can do something about the intense throbbing of my clit. The way he has complete control of me and mocks me about it sends my arousal through the roof. He pulls me back up forcefully by my restrained arm before he turns me facing the headboard. He pushes me forward, sending my face halfway buried in the mattress, my chest flush against the sheets. I shuffle my head around to lay my face sideways, making my hair fall all over the place, most annoyingly in my face. Through the mess of hair on my face I see Negan starting to undress, finally. I have never seen him bare either, and it makes my heart flutter. I’m familiar with his cock of course, and have seen him many a time without a shirt, but there is still something about seeing it all all at once that makes me feel like it is all new. The way his tall, broad frame towers putting every tattoo on display is an impressive sight in and of itself, but to see it paired with his gorgeously thick cock standing straight makes it hard for me to breathe.

Negan walks over to me and leans down, brushing away the hair in my face before he lets it lazily travel down my back.

“I’m gonna taste you now, princess,” his voice comes out gruff and low, his tongue licking at his lower lip.

A guttural sound escapes from my chest. “Yes please,” I manage to utter, the need for any type of friction against my clit growing with every passing second.

Negan chuckles and walks to the foot of the bed before climbing on. I can’t see him, but I can hear where he is positioned by the rugged breaths escaping his lips. I feel his hand trail from my lower back, across my backside and grazing my soaking wet hole before settling at my clit, he draws a few light circles on my clit with a finger before he places both hands by my knees and forces my legs wider apart. 

“So fucking wet, and so pretty spread open for me,” he groans before I feel his beard against my inner thigh. 

Soon, Negan’s tongue makes its way between my folds and the sweet sensation sends tingles through my body and makes the hair on my arms rise. When his tongue finally reaches my clit the nerve endings are so sensitive that a shudder and a deep moan runs through me, it feels like we spent years getting to this part of the evening. My instinct is to reach my arms out and take hold of something, but all I can do is claw at the sheets with my fingers. I squirm, trying to scurry forward, the pleasure almost too much to bear. Negan forcefully grabs my thigh and holds me in place and I manage to stutter out a strangled plea for him to make me come. He chuckles and it vibrates through my clit, making my entire body shudder. He wraps his lips around the little bundle of nerves and sucks on it lightly and it is all I can take before I come undone against his mouth. As my orgasm crashes through my body, tingling through the top of my head to my pinkie toe, it wants to stretch out, but all it does is pull at my restraints, causing the rough rope to dig into my flesh. I whimper as I come down, the way my body is forced to immobility has, to my surprise, made my orgasm last longer.

I come down from my euphoric high and feel that Negan’s hands are placed firmly on my hips and his cock teases at my dripping entrance. A strangled moan escapes from deep within my chest as he slams into me. The sudden intrusion is almost painful, his thick cock pushing against my walls, manipulating my insides to accommodate his impressive size. 

“I’m gonna fuck you so fucking hard, you won’t be able to walk when I’m done with you,” he rasps predatoreily.

He is as far from tender and gentle as can be, ramming his cock into me, fucking me into the mattress below us. The bedding drags across my face and almost makes it hard to breathe, but I manage to shift my head. One of his hands lets go of my hip and travels down my spine to settle at the back of my neck, forcing me still. My legs start to slide apart from his unforgiving rampage of my body, causing the tendon of my groin to strain and send new pain through me. A whimper mixed with a pleading moan escapes me. I feel like he is about to break me, fuck me so hard I’ll fall apart, but I don’t want him to stop, my pleasure is merely heightened as it mixes with my pain. I come again, screaming out this time. He pushes me harder down with his body, angling his body in a way that makes his cock hit my g-spot ever harder, profanities spill from his lips. My entire being trembles and my sex clenches so hard it is a damn miracle Negan doesn’t shoot his load in me. He slows down the pace as I come down, but doesn’t stop. He lets go of my neck and slaps my ass, shocking my body back to reality.

“You ever let anyone in here?” He asks as he lets a calloused thumb brush against my tightest hole, the one I’ve never let anyone come as much as near. His thumb there feels so wrong and shameful, but so very good.

“No,” I whimper. I never thought I’d want to give it to anyone, but when it comes to Negan I have an overwhelming need to try anything, do anything, for him.

“Fuck,” he mutters, his voice dripping with lust. “You will, baby girl. Maybe not tonight, but you will.” He slams into me as he speaks, his thrusts timed perfectly with the rhythm of his words, making my slick pool around his cock. “That fucking hole is mine to pop, since you've been slutting out the others, you understand?”

I whimper again, unable to utter even the shortest of sentences. His hand then grabs my hair, fisting a large chunk of it in his strong hand making my head tilt backwards, forcing me back to reality.

“Do you fucking understand?” He demands, pulling tighter.

“Yes,” I manage to stutter, “sir.”

“Good girl,” he murmurs and starts picking up the pace yet again. He holds on to my hair with a tight grip and continues fucking the life out of me. I lose count of how many times he makes me come and when he finally lets his seed spill into me I am barely present, my mind muddled from all the orgasms he’s forced out of me.

I hum as Negan loosens my restraints and helps me up, walking me to the bathroom, he puts the shower on and steps us both in, he holds me as we shower together, rinsing ourselves of the sweat and slick. He kisses me softly and passionately before we go back to the bedroom where he lays me down and climbs in after me.

“Rest for a moment, baby,” he says and holds me tight, spooning me.

  
  


***

I wake with a jolt and panic immediately. We let ourselves fall asleep. I frantically look around, realizing I left my phone in my room.

“Negan!” 

I shake him awake.

“Fuck!” He exclaims and grabs for his phone. “It’s morning, seven o’clock. You have to go home, now!” 

He gets up and picks up my clothes. I pull my tube socks up over my ropeburns and flinch, it stings a little, but if anyone sees them, the world of pain I’ll be in will hurt a hell of a lot more. All dressed I run down the stairs and get out, looking left and right to see if any of our neighbours can see me, but luckily no one is out and about yet. I try to be as quiet as possible as I climb back up to my room, even though I feel the dull ache of my legs and groin.

  
  



	9. Part 8: June/July 2007

Two days have gone by since my little adventure with Negan, the marks on my wrists and ankles are still red and I have been very careful around my parents and aunt Jill to not have them see. It was a close call with aunt Jill though. She heard me climb back up to my room that morning. I knew I could count on her being discreet around my parents. All she had done was ask me in a whisper what the name of my friend was and I lied and said it was Finn. Now Liv and I are enjoying a lazy summer day together, planning to lay by her pool and read magazines. Her parents have gone to Europe for the summer and we have the entire house to ourselves. We make our way outside, carrying snacks and bottles of coke so cold they are dripping down our hands. A dip in the pool will feel amazing, but I know I have to warn Liv about the marks Negan has left on my body.

“Okay, don’t freak out,” I say solemnly to Liv and start pulling my sweater off.

The moment my sweater is removed she pulls my arm to her to inspect the rope burn on my wrist.

“Oh my God!” Liv exclaims, before dropping her voice several decibels. “Did Negan do this?” She asks almost at a whisper, a worried streak flickering across her face.

“Yeah, but it’s not like that.  _ We _ did this. I put him up to it.” I smirk.

“Are you being careful,” she raises her eyebrows.

“Somewhat,” I joke. “He _ is _ intense though.”

“Was it scary? Did he scare you?” I can’t tell if she’s thrilled or mortified.

“He scares the shit outta me, Liv…” The words drip smooth as honey from my lips. “But fuck… I can’t even explain it… I love it.”

Liv squeals. “Holy fucking hell, Y/N!” She flails on her pool bed, her long, blonde hair dancing around her shoulders in the process. “I cannot believe this! Negan! You and Negan was one thing, but this crazy fucking sex is something else!”

“Calm down, Liv. Don’t let the neighbours hear you,” I say, but can’t keep myself from letting out a little laugh. “But yeah… Holy fucking hell…”

“How was it?” She turns on her stomach and props her head up on her hands.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” I tease, but can’t even keep my face straight.

“Bull shit,” Liv laughs.

“He was all stern and hard handed, then he tied my wrists to my ankles…” Liv is hanging on my every word, jaw dropping open. “He ate me out…” She gasps. “And then he fucked me so fucking hard I thought I was gonna break.” Liv curses under her breath. “And then he said he wanted to fuck my ass, not right then, but that he would another time. You ever done it?” I bite my lip and search her face.

“Yeah…” She smirks.

“And?” 

“It hurts, I can tell you that much,” her voice is almost at a whisper, “but then… But then it’s fucking amazing, if a guy knows how to do it right of course, and bitch, I am sure as hell certain that Negan does.”

I let out something between a squeal and a sigh. Of course Negan does. There was no doubt in my mind. The thought of doing  _ that _ with him, of letting him do that, makes goosebumps cascade down by body. 

“It kills me, Liv,” I complain, “how much I want him. Nothing has ever felt like this before. With Finn, and anyone really, it’s been no challenge, no tension, boring… But with Negan it’s like I want him to push back, and he does that so fucking well. I was always the one in charge, the one in control, it is so fucking thrilling to let  _ him _ take control over  _ me  _ now.”

  
  


**July 2007**

When July rolls around Lucille takes out some vacation days and I can hardly get a moment alone with Negan. She spends her days working in the garden and relaxing by the pool. In other words she stays close to home. We have to be careful, but manage to steal away for some alone time. Negan does me in his garage again when everyone is asleep, and after a dinner party when my parents have had a little too much to drink he volunteers to drive me over to Liv’s for a sleepover. Her parents are still in Europe so she still has the house to herself. He parks the car in a secluded spot and smirks over at me.

“You can’t be gone too long,” I say, but still I smile. “They might suspect something is going on.”

“Baby,” Negan rumbles, his eyes fixed on me with a mischievous gleam, “you are worth it.”

I undo my seatbelt, lean over and plant a deep kiss on his lips. Negan hums against me and snakes an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. My heart flutters and my thighs break out in goosebumps as he lets his other arm travel up under my shirt to find a pert nipple. He toys with it and squeezes it hard. A thin moan escapes me as I break from the kiss, he snickers at me and removes his hands from me. He undoes his belt and fly, and my mouth starts to salivate. The last few weeks have been all about the hard and fast quickies, no blowjobs, I can’t wait to slide my lips over his cock again. Negan sees my hungry eyes staring down at his lap and lets his tongue travel across his lower lip as he pulls his boxers a bit down, and pulls out his cock.

“Look at you, baby girl. So fucking greedy for my cock.” 

Negan lifts his hand and grazes it across my cheek, then lightly takes hold of my chin and pulls it a bit down, making my lips part. I nod and he brushes my hair behind my ear. I lean over and let his cock slide past my lips and all the way down my throat, the taste of his desire for me is coating the inside of my mouth. I hear Negan moan and I move back up, sliding my tongue up his length and swirl it around the head. I love to hear how good I make him feel. I bob my head up and down, making sure to hollow my cheeks every time I go back up. Negan moves with me, his hips meeting my mouth as I sink down on his cock. He groans over me and gets rougher with every thrust, causing me to slightly gag around his cock as it hits the back of my throat over and over.

All of a sudden a sharp ringing stings my ears and pulls my attention away from his dick, but Negan urges me not to get up. I see Lucille’s name flash across the screen as he pulls his phone out of his pocket with his free hand.

“Quiet,” he hisses before answering his phone. He keeps his hand firmly at the back of my head, and I am completely still.

“Hi, hun,” he says nonchalantly. “Yeah, on my way back.” He gently fists his hand in my hair. “Sure, anything else I should pick up?” I hear Lucille’s muffled voice through the absolute stillness of the car. “I’ll come soon, see you then.” I can practically hear his smirk before he hangs up on her.

“Good girl, so fucking quiet for me…” He drawls before pulling me up and easing me back down on his cock with his hand. 

He thrusts his thick member down my throat a few more times before he breathes out heavily, keeping my head in place for a minute as I feel him shoot his load down my throat, and the tangy taste of his spendings fill my mouth. Once I’ve been a good girl and swallowed it all down he pulls me off him. I lick my lips, before I smile over at him.

“What are you gonna say when they ask why you were gone so long?” I ask, an anxious feeling starting to spread through me.

“Gonna say I was busy shoving my cock down Y/N’s fucking throat.”

“Negan, don’t joke about that…” 

“What if I tell them how fucking sexy the sound of you gagging around me is, or about how good it feels when I push you down on my dick as I come down your throat, making it pulse as you gag and try to swallow it down all at once?” He grins at me. 

“Negan…” I say again, softer this time, but the way he talks about what he’s done to me, how he’s used me for his own pleasure, makes slick pool between my thighs. I want to ride him so fucking bad, but there is no time. I try to push my need to have him fuck me into oblivion back. “Don’t push it. You have to go, and you need to come up with a convincing lie.”

He puts his hand on mine and squeezes it softly. “No worries, baby. I’ve got this. I’ll just say there was a long line at the store or that I met someone and was dragged into conversation… I can be very fucking convincing you know.” 

“Oh, believe me, I know,” I tease.

He grins at me and puts the car in drive. Ten minutes later we are parked on the side of the road by Liv’s house. I look around to check if anyone can see us and plant a deep, hungry kiss on his lips.

“Now, you get in there. Don’t want your friend to think something’s up.” He chuckles as we break from each other’s lips.

A wave of guilt washes over me. Part of me wants to come clean and confess that Liv knows everything, that she has known all along, but I am petrified at what might happen if I do. I decide against it and shoot him the sweetest possible smile I can, before I step out of the car and make my way up Liv’s driveway.

***

Three days after giving Negan a blowjob in his car I am pacing back and forth in Liv’s living room. Negan has told me out of the blue that he and Lucille are going away for a little vacation and then he abruptly left last night. He said that Lucille figures they need to work on their relationship, that he has been distant lately. She’s not wrong, of course he has...

“He’s going away,” I whine. “And I leave for college soon, I know I’m not entitled to anything, but the fact is that this summer is all we have… It’s killing me.”

“Babe, this is what you got into,” Liv gently hugs me, “but I know it sucks.” 

“I know he’s hers, but it still hurts.” Her sweater muffles my voice. She pulls me over to the couch and we settle in close.

“I know, Y/N.” I let my head fall on her shoulder. “We’ll have some fun. I’ll take your mind off it, promise.”

“Yeah right…” I mumble, keeping my head on her shoulder.

“We’ll go away too! We’ll go to the lakehouse, and we’ll take the guys.”

“I'm not cheating on him.” I lift my head to look at her. 

“Can you cheat on a married man? Does he cheat on you with his wife?” She lifts a brow at me.

“You know what i mean…” I sigh.

“You don’t have to fuck anyone, but those guys are a good time either way.”

“I guess…”

“Great, we’ll go this weekend!” 

She keeps my mind occupied for the rest of the night, we make plans and talk to Michael and Chris, who Liv has made sure to keep in touch with. Well, she has done a little more than keep in touch with Michael, he’s her snack for the summer. They agree to go with us in a heartbeat and I actually allow myself to look forward to the week to come. When I make my way home I am in a much better mood than when I came over to Liv’s. She always manages to make me feel better. 

***

I jolt awake by a slam almost loud enough to make the entire house shake. Reaching across the bed for my phone I check the time and find that it is the middle of the fucking night, 2 AM. My ears prick up. In the back of my mind I am planning my escape route, thinking our house has been broken into. Soon enough though I understand what is going on. My mom’s muffled voice causes me to tiptoe across the carpeted floor of my bedroom and push the door slightly ajar.

“What’s going on? I thought you’d left. 

“Well, we came back…” Lucille’s voice travels up the stairs and I feel my entire frame freezing. She sounds hurt, like she has to struggle to get the words out. “I couldn’t stay another second.”

“What happened? Why did you call to come over?” My mom sounds worried.

“He’s cheating,” I hear Lucille stutter out. “Fuck, Erin… He’s cheating on me…”

Cold spreads down my body through my spine. The utter heartbreak in her voice makes me feel like crying. I know that what I’ve been doing is wrong, but I have spent so long trapped in this lust haze that I have totally disregarded her feelings.

“Lucille, tell me what happened,” my mom’s voice is warm and comforting. “Come and sit down… Please Lucille.”

“I knew something was up… I knew it Erin…”

There is a long pause where all I can hear is soft sobbing.

“You were feeling so good about this time away. Tell me what’s happened. Please, Lucy.”

“I thought it would be better you know, to be away. But he’s still the way he has been lately… Weird and cold.” I hear her sniffle. “He won’t sleep with me either.”

A chill runs down my spine.

“That doesn’t mean he’s cheating though,” my mom says sweetly.

“These do…” There is a slight ruffling. “I found them in his bag…”

“Are you sure they’re not yours?” My mom sounds horrified and my heart stops. They don’t have to say another word for me to know what it is.

“Do these look like something I would wear?” I hear her snort. “They aren’t even my size!”

“I’m so sorry,” I hear my mom say meekly.

“He kept his fucking whore’s underwear,” Lucille starts sobbing again. “And he took them with him too. Who does that?”

My mom has got to recognize my panties. I’m done for. I’m dead. My mom is gonna kill me. And my dad is gonna kill _ him...  _


	10. Part 9: July 2007

I can’t go back to sleep. My mind is spinning out of control, and I’m breaking out in cold sweats. The rest of the night I toss and turn. I feel light headed. I want to cry and scream in anticipation of the utter hell I know I’m about to face. I try to avoid the inevitable. I lay in bed and wait until way past the time when my parents go to work, then I set my feet down on the carpeted floor and force myself to get up on two feet. I gaze at myself in the mirror, but am quick to look away. I can’t bear to look at myself, I make myself sick. With heavy steps and a heavy heart I shuffle my way down the stairs. I am in desperate need for some caffeine after the night I’ve just had. Just as I turn to walk into the kitchen I stop dead in my tracks. My mom is standing there, looking straight ahead out the window.

“Morning,” she says without turning to look at me. I can’t quite read her tone.

“Morning,” I say, my voice thick.

She turns and I can see dark rings laying heavy under her eyes. In my mind the word _shit_ plays on repeat. My heart is in my throat, making it feel tighter than when I’m choking on Negan’s cock. Images of our sinful activities flash before me, and I try to push the thought that my mom can read my mind out of my head. I have to force myself to swallow and let some moisture back in my mouth before I can speak again. 

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” I ask meekly.

“Took the day off,” she says and pours a cup of coffee. “I didn’t sleep last night.”

She sets the cup down on the table, before moving back over to the cupboard to pour another.

“Sit with me,” she says when she’s done. 

I still can’t read the tone of her voice, and I realize I can’t read the look on her face either. I move over to one of the kitchen chairs on shaky legs.

“So, what’s up with you?” My mom asks just as I sit down.

“What do you mean?” 

She is deadly quiet for a moment and I seriously contemplate coming clean, it might work in my favor, but before I can make up my mind she speaks again.

“I just want to know what you’re up to these days. You are in and out of here at all hours, you rarely talk to me anymore and you don’t as much as look at your dad. _So_ , what is up with you?”

My mouth has gone dry again, and I have a big sip of coffee. I can’t bring myself to say anything even remotely close to the truth. “Nothing is up really… Just enjoying my last summer before college.”

“Who are you seeing these days?” She asks and a chill runs through me. “I take it Finn is out of the picture, seeing how he doesn’t come around to pick you up anymore.”

“I’m not seeing anyone,” I say, but realize I’m sounding defensive.

“Stop lying to me,” she says solemnly and a queasy feeling spreads through me. “Do you really think I’ll buy that? I’ve heard you sneak out, and come back at weird hours. I thought I’d give you a little space, you being eighteen and all, but this is getting ridiculous.”

I don’t answer, I have to concentrate on not throwing up all over the table.

“I have to ask,” she takes a deep breath. “Are you sleeping with Negan?” 

All the blood drains from my face. I have a split second to decide how to respond, any longer and my silence will be a confession in and of itself. Full on denial, that’s what I have to go with. The repercussions of coming clean and begging for mercy will be too big, and even bigger for Negan.

“That’s crazy!” I bark, and fight the impulse to start hyperventilating. “That’s disgusting! I can’t believe you’d think that about me!”

“He’s cheating on Lucille and she found something in his things,” she says, her voice shockingly calm. “Something I thought was yours.” 

“Well, whatever it is, it isn’t mine!” I feel tears pressing at my eyes, but know I can’t let them fall. 

“If you are lying to me,” she shakes her head, “so help me god, Y/N…”

“How can you think that!?” I say again.

“I don’t, not really, but this thing had me worried for you. Worried he might be taking advantage of you.” 

Taking advantage of me… The implication that me being with him means he’s taking advantage of me makes me absolutely furious. My breathing is ragged and heavy. She reaches a hand out and lays it on mine, but I snatch it away.

“I’m sorry, hun.”

I just cross my arms and look away from her.

“Have you noticed anything strange happening in school this past year?” My mom asks. “Have you heard any talk about Negan? That he’s been seen with anyone? A younger woman, a previous student perhaps?”

“No, I haven’t,” I say, but then I realize that she might have told my dad that Lucille found panties she thought, and rightly so, were mine with Negan’s things. “Have you asked dad?” I try.

“No, not yet anyways.”

“Can I go now? Or are you gonna accuse me of fucking any other of your friends, our neighbours, or maybe another one of my teachers?” I say and hope my voice isn’t coming out as too much of a quiver. 

“Of course you can go, but if you need to talk to me -”

“I don’t.” I cut her off and stomp up to my room.

Once I have slammed the door shut behind me I have to run into my ensuite and throw up, and then I sink down on the cold tiles and cry. I cry for a good 20 minutes and then I manage to call Liv. I stutter out an explanation of what has just happened through desperate sobs. As always she succeeds at talking me down a bit. She reminds me that we’ll leave tomorrow morning, and that I can come stay with her if I have to. I think it over, but I decline. How it might look if I were to run off?

I keep to myself for most of the day. I come down for meals, even though I can barely eat, and I make sure to make half hearted conversation. When I have said goodnight and gone back upstairs I hear my parents start talking in hushed tones. Afraid that I might be the topic up for discussion I open my door slightly and noiselessly after having originally closed it. Luckily, it is not me they are talking about, not directly. The topic at hand is Negan and Lucille, and the state of their marriage.

“He’s always flirted and talked about women to me, but he has never told me he cheated…” My dad sighs.

“Must be a younger woman, at least that is my guess based on the underwear Lucille found.”

“How is she? Is she leaving him?”

“She doesn't know,” my mom says. “She’s taking some time to think it over. She went to stay with her sister for a while.”

“I can’t believe he was this stupid,” my dad sounds annoyed. “To risk what they have for some meaningless affair. He loves her so much.”

I feel pressure build in my chest again. _He loves her so much_ , the words hurt. She is his wife. I am just some girl he fucks to feel powerful, or when he’s bored. I silently close my door and cry for the second time today.

***

“Please be careful, these college boys might try to take what they want from you.” My dad nods towards the car on the curb, where Michael, Chris and Liv are waiting for me. “Boys you can handle, but when you go out there in the real world, taking a trip like this on your own, you will meet guys who are older and more experienced. Do not fall for it. Keep Liv with you, look out for each other, okay?” My dad doesn’t know I’ve met a man like that just across the garden wall, and that I _did_ fall for it.

“Always,” I smile and kiss him on the cheek.

I half run down the driveway to the car. I can’t wait to go away.

I throw my bag in the back of Michael’s car before I jump in next to Liv in the back seat. Michael revs the engine and gets us on our way. As we pass Negan and Lucille’s house I see him in the driveway working on his car. We lock eyes for a brief moment as we breeze past and his brow furrows. I want to jump out of the car and into his arms. I want to spend the weekend with him in his house, the one Lucille has left to contemplate her marriage, but I also want to quit my Negan addiction cold turkey. 

I try to have a good time, and as the day turns to night, I honestly do. On that first night we drink and laugh and play games. Chris plays the part of DJ and he has surprisingly good taste in music. After a while Liv and Micael drift to the bedroom all caught up in one another, and Chris and I are left alone in the living room. We are both more than a few drinks in and I feel pretty damn good. I have drank and laughed part of my sour mood away and am feeling high on life, so when Chris leans in to kiss me I get caught in the moment. There is a handsome, age appropriate guy sitting next to me. He’s into me, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel attraction in his direction. Our lips crash together and his hands find the spot between my shoulderblades. He pulls me flush against his body. His lips are soft against mine and his chest feels firm against my bosom. Damn, he’s a good kisser, but yet my mind travels to Negan. Am I doing this to get back at him for something? Am I punishing him for entering a sexual relationship with me? Even though I baited him, I still feel hurt by him in some way. My mind is a muddle and suddenly this doesn't feel right. I break away from the kiss and take a deep breath.

“I’m gonna go to bed…” I say softly and pull all the way away from him before standing up.

I dread him asking to join me, but he doesn't. He’s a perfect gentleman about it. He reads my tone and smiles at me.

“Sweet dreams,” he says. “See you tomorrow. And Y/N… I hope we’ll pick this up again sometime.”

I go to bed, leaving Chris alone in the lounge. I am too riled up to sleep, but I feel like being alone after the kiss, after what it has stirred up in me. I get my laptop from my bag and switch it on. I transfer the photos we’ve taken onto my computer and look through them. I have to smile when I see them. I look silly in so many of them, but a few make it to facebook. Evidence of the great time we’ve been having is now all over my facebook wall. Dozens of pictures of Liv and me, her and Michael, and me and Chris. There are many hugs, many smiles and a few awkward dance moves in the photos. After I’m done I slap my laptop shut. I lie down on the bed, staring at the ceiling. I lie perfectly still and let my mind wander, hoping it will make me sleepy before long. I am just feeling myself drift away when my phone buzzes. I pick it up lazily and see that I’ve got a message from Negan. I don’t know how to feel about it, but I still unlock my phone to read the message.

  
_Are you fucking him?_ That is all it says. My heart beats so hard it feels as if it is about to pound its way through my chest at any moment. Half of me wants to lie and tell him I did, and the other half wants to call him up and say that he is all I ever want, and that I’ll never fuck anyone again if he wants me to.


	11. Part 10: July 2007

_ Are you fucking him?  _ That is all it says. My heart beats so hard it feels as if it is about to pound its way through my chest at any moment. Half of me wants to lie and tell him I did, and the other half wants to call him up and say that he is all I ever want, and that I’ll never fuck anyone again if he wants me to. 

I can’t decide what to do. Negan is so confusing. He was just caught cheating, and now he is sending me texts in the late hours of the night as if we were still a thing. I truly don’t understand the way he thinks. His fucking marriage is in danger! These thoughts drive me crazy. I feel heated energy rise in my chest.

_ What if I did?  _ I write back in anger and hold my breath. 

_ Then you are gonna be in so much fucking trouble.  _

My breath catches in my throat. I can’t help it. Even though I am furious with him I want to be in trouble. I want him to be so fucking jealous that it makes him fly into a rage, but I know that what I have to do is confront him with the truth.

_ No, I’m not. As if you are ever going to touch me again… You’ve been caught. Remember? _ My fingers tremble across the keypad. 

_ That is not your fucking shit to worry about, baby.  _

It dawns on me that he might be totally oblivious to the fact that my mother, and possibly his wife, suspects that I am his dirty, little mistress, or his  _ whore  _ as Lucille so delicately put it.

_ Like hell it isn’t… My mom asked me if I was fucking you! _

Many minutes go by without an answer from him and I start to panic. In my mind’s eye I see him starting to pack up his stuff and bolt out of the house to drive away to a future without this entire mess, without me, but when he answers it is very clear that he isn’t going anywhere.

_ We will talk about this when you get back. _

_ OK, I’ll be back on Sunday.  _

_ And Y/N… I am going to show you exactly who belongs between those legs. And if you have let that asshole touch what’s mine, you will be in so much fucking trouble. _

I almost shiver as my lower belly heats up, I can’t help it. He is absolutely right, and I will let him know whose dirty girl I am, whose  _ whore _ I am...

_ Good night, sir. _

_ Good night, baby. _

  
  


***

Saturday went by slowly. The day was filled with tanning and fun in the lake, and the night played out pretty much like the one before. I sense a sliver of disappointment from Chris as we once again go to sleep by ourselves, but he doesn’t say anything. I am very ready to go home when we leave Sunday afternoon. The entire car ride I sit looking out the window, lost in my own thoughts. Of course, these thoughts are about Negan. In the light of day doubt starts creeping in. I trust that he can talk his way out of this situation with Lucille, but I am not sure I want him to. If she leaves him, things might change. We’ll still be all wrong, but at least the guilt of sneaking around behind her back might subside. Then again I will have to live with the fact that I ruined her marriage, but have I not done that already? I start to feel queasy. He wants to talk when we arrive and I am not sure what I want to say to him. I take a deep breath, trying to suppress my nausea, but it just keeps building, and soon it’s even hard to breathe.

“Stop the car!” I plead and Michael drives it over to the side.

I frantically open the door and run away from the car. I make it a good 600 feet into a field before I catch on to Liv yelling my name behind me. I feel my knees scrub against the rough, dry grass as I fall on the ground. Liv quickly catches up to me and kneels down next to me. I struggle to breathe properly, feeling as though the air I am desperately trying to suck in won’t reach my lungs. It feels like I’m dying. I fear for my life. Liv grabs hold of me and hugs me tight.

“Y/N, look at me,” she pleads, and I manage to fulfil her wish. “Try to breathe with me, okay? You’re having a panic attack.” 

I force myself to maintain eye contact with her as she holds me and breathes deep and slow. 

“You’re okay, you hear me?” I nod in response and feel the calming effect she has on me.

I start to return to myself and soon I am able to speak.

“Liv, I don’t know what to do…” I whisper. I don’t have to explain what I am talking about to her. “It’s all a mess…”

“I know, babe…” She strokes my hair.

“I don’t know what this is anymore.” I feel tears well in my eyes. “I just know I can’t quit.”

“I understand,” she says, still holding me. “How do you feel about it.”

“It’s wrong.”

“I know, babe, but that is a thought, not a feeling.” She stares deeply into my eyes. “So, how do you  _ feel _ .”

I can hardly get the words out.

“I feel ashamed,” I pause for a moment. “And I feel happy at the same time.” A single tear falls down my cheek. “I feel ashamed of feeling happy.”

“Do you want to end it with him?”

I think hard for what feels like a long time.

“No…” I mutter. “I think I’m falling in love.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” she smirks at me, and I have to let out a little laugh through my tears. “Now let’s get back in the car and go home. I’ll be at your beck and call whatever happens, okay?”

“Thanks, Liv,” I say and we both stand up together.

***

As night falls and darkness spreads across the neighbourhood I tell my dad that I am going out. My mom has gone to see Lucille and lend some support, and I am glad I don’t have to face her. My dad says that she wanted him to tell me she was sorry, but didn’t say why, and I praise myself lucky that at least she hasn’t planted the idea that his best friend is screwing his daughter into his head. I make sure no one can see me as I sneak over to Negan and ring the doorbell. I can hear heavy footsteps walk briskly towards the door before Negan opens it harshly. He smiles at me and steps aside for me to enter. He plants a deep kiss on my lips when the door is closed securely behind us. I melt into him. He forces our bodies closer together and soon he has me pushed up against the door. His kiss is enough to almost make me forget how messed up this situation we have gotten ourselves into really is, but not entirely. I have to use all my willpower to break away from his lips, and when I do he looks down at me with a quizzical look.

“We have to talk,” I say, my voice low and meek.

“Did you fuck him,” his breath is hot on my face.

“No, but he kissed me, and I kissed him back,” I say, standing completely still, keeping my tone cool and collected.

His face hardens and he takes a step back. Once his body is withdrawn from mine I feel cold and a lonely feeling creeps through me even though he is standing right in front of me.

“That kid is dead…” He is seething. I have never seen him this intense before. It scares me a little, but it has other effects on me as well.

“Oh, come on…” I sigh, and feel annoyance building in me. I feel that he is overreacting to my kiss with Chris. “It's not like you only sleep with  _ me, _ and I don't expect you to leave your wife for your best friend's daughter.” 

He doesn’t answer, so in a brash move I keep going.

“And how is this gonna be, now that everyone is watching your every move?”

“I’ll find a way,” he states through gritted teeth. 

“Don’t pretend that this is something it’s not,” I manage to say, suddenly feeling hurt, like heartbreak is just around the corner. I didn’t come over to get into an argument that might just end whatever the fuck we have, but now that the words are out of my mouth there is no taking them back.

“And what is it not?” His eyes are fixed on me, he still looks so incredibly angry.

“A relationship,” I croak, just barely able to keep from crying. “We’ve been fucking, you’ve had your thrill. I know you will eventually toss me aside and go back to your old life.”

“Don’t you fucking tell me how I fucking feel about anything. You have no fucking idea what I am or what I want,” he says between gritted teeth. “Shit baby, you are so fucking infuriating! I don’t want to leave my wife, but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel things for you as well.”

“So then where does that leave us?” 

“Hell, that is up to you now isn’t it?” 

A part of me knows this won’t end well, but still a flicker of hope is left in the back of my mind. What if he gets away with it? What if he uses that silver tongue to slither his way out of this with Lucille? And if Lucille buys his lies, won’t my mom feel like an idiot for having accused me? If Lucille thinks Negan has been faithful afterall, then my mom will put the thought of Negan and me to rest for good. And we will be more careful, we’ll be together as I go to college and then he can visit me and no one will ever know. That little flicker is what wins me over. I choose to believe a fairytale over walking away.

“Noone excites me like you, but this is so fucking messed up,” I am breathing heavy as I say it. I can feel all my mixed emotions muddle further together, into the usual blend of love and anger induced arousal, and Negan can sense it.

“Isn’t that what turns you on so fucking hard?” His free hand travels up my spine. Sometimes I wonder how he can read people so well, it seems like he sees right through everyone, and especially me.

“Yes,” I admit and let out a long, staggered breath.

“Shit, you fucking love that your dad’s married best friend is fucking the damn life outa you, don’t you?”

I nod and let out a little whimper as his hand reaches the back of my neck. I can’t resist him, and he can’t keep his hands off me either, we are drawn together like magnets, all through knowing how wrong it is of us to be together.

“You are my little slut, aren’t you?” 

“Yes,” I breathe out.

“You are gonna let me do whatever I fucking want to you, right?”

“Yes…”

“Why?” He coaxes.

“Because I’m your little slut,” I say and feel the slick pool between my legs.

“Are you ready for your next door neighbour to fuck you in the ass?”

I whimper and give a little nod.

“Gonna need you to fucking answer me, baby girl.”

“Yes, sir,” I coo, and with that he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. I squeal in delight and giggle as he carries me over to the stairs and we ascend.

  
  
  



	12. Part 11: July 2007

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beta'd by the lovely @manawhaat on tumblr.

I am nervous and my entire body is tingling with anticipation as Negan playfully throws me on the bed making my body slightly bounce on the mattress. Knowing what we’re about to do makes me feel scared and thrilled and turned on all at the same time. My mind is racing so fast it’s hard to separate one string of thought from the next. It’s like my brain is caught in a malestream pulling my filthy mind all the way down to hell, where it belongs. I lie on my back on his bed with him looming over me. 

“Shit, baby…” He drinks me in with his gaze. “I never fucking tire of seeing you splayed out on my fucking bed like this.” His tongue slides over his bottom lip.

He leans down and pulls my dress up and I help, lifting my chest off the bed. I undo my bra as he peels my panties down my legs and I kick them the last of the way off with my sandals. Negan parts my legs with a hungry drag across his rugged features. He kisses his way up the inside of my thighs, making me break out in goosebumps. All of a sudden he throws one of my legs over his shoulder and grins. I giggle at his playful demeanor, it deflates some of the nervous tension I am no doubt emitting. His fingers part my folds and he licks a line from my already soaking hole up to my clit. My body shudders and I moan loudly as his tongue goes to work on the sensitive little bundle of nerves. By now I know full well how well he eats pussy, but still his tongue manages to amaze me. He flicks his tongue against my clit so perfectly that it is almost too much to bear already. Instinctively my legs move to shut close, but with an amused hum he forces them apart again. I whimper as he continues to send intense pleasure through my sex, and just as I am about to come he closes his lips around my clit and sucks it in between his teeth making me scream out as my first orgasm of the night crashes through me.

Before I have the time to come all the way back down to earth he puts my leg back down and flips me over. 

“Up on your knees, baby,” he drawls and smooths a calloused hand over my ass. 

He moves off the bed and sheds his clothes as I get in position. My body jerks as he lets the swollen head of his cock stroke against my asshole. 

“Relax, baby,” he coos and leans down to place a soft kiss on the small of my back. 

“I’m just nervous, Negan…” I take a deep breath and feel his hand smooth against my ass and down the back of my thigh. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Don’t worry, baby girl. I’m gonna make sure you’re fucking ready for me. I’ll open up that cute little ass in no time.” The growling of his voice fills the room with electric anticipation and all I can do is trust him. Deep down I know he wouldn’t do anything that could harm me.

My breath hitches when I feel his thumb meet my sensitive hole. He draws circles at first, making me used to the feeling of anything at all against my asshole. He fishes a small tube from his nightstand and I squeal when he squirts a cold drop of it on my skin. He chuckles behind me before I feel his thumb against my hole again and soon I feel the pressure of him pushing it into me.

“You okay, sweetheart?” His voice is almost humming.

“Yes,” I whisper. I am a little surprised at how nice it actually feels to have his thumb slip into my most sinful hole.

He soon replaces his thumb with a long finger, which lets him go deeper. He thrusts his finger in and out of me slowly. He uses his other hand to massage my clit in rhythm with his pumps. Soon I feel him adding some more lube, then another finger presses against my hole. The feeling of him sliding the second finger into me is strange, it doesn’t exactly hurt, but feels like my opening struggles to stretch around his digits. 

After taking his time to warm me up, he asks softly, “You ready, baby?”

“I think so…” I breathe out, without really knowing what that would entail.

“You are so fucking sexy,” he breathes, his voice coming out low and smooth. 

Negan places the head of his cock at the entrance of my asshole and teases it softly, adding more lube and dipping his fingers in to make sure I’m stretched enough for him. He takes his time teasing me, and when he finally moves to enter me he does it slowly. The feeling is like nothing I've experienced before. It hurts in a way that is nothing like any pain I’ve ever felt. It is not like how the pain of his ropes dug into my wrists or how it felt when I lost my virginity. It’s a pressure focused pain, like his cock is making room where there is none. He feels bigger than ever, massive. It is such an incredibly tight fit that I have to really work to force myself to relax, but Negan is right there with me.

“You are such a fucking champ, baby girl.” His hand travels up my spine. “Taking me so deep.”

It dawns on me that he hasn’t even started moving yet. All he has done is enter me, but he hasn’t started  _ fucking  _ me. And still it feels like it’s almost too much to bear.

“It’s so goddamn tight,” I say and take a deep breath. 

“Fuck, yes,” I hear him moan behind me. 

Hearing how good I make him feel makes me strangely proud. He starts moving, very slowly he slides his cock a little of the way out before he eases it back in. I take controlled breaths as he fucks me gently. I start to relax around him, getting a little more comfortable with every pump of his big cock in my tight hole. Eventually I become aware that when he fucks me in the ass he still manages to reach my g-spot, but in a different way than I am used to. Taking him in the ass starts to feel good, even though the tight, pressing feeling still remains. He adds pressure to my clit with his fingers as he starts moving faster. It’s just what I needed, and soon my building pleasure makes me start to moan in unison with him.

“You want me to make you come like this? With my huge fucking cock shoved right up your tight,” he slides about halfway out, “little,” he pushes back in making a straggled sound somewhere between a moan and a whiney scream escape my lips, “asshole?”

“Yes,” I stutter through the intense feeling of Negan thrusting his cock into me.

With one controlled movement his free hand lifts my torso so that my back is flush against his chest. The change of position makes his cock hit my insides in a new way, but the real reward is how he can access all the best spots of my body all at once. Now he can play with my breast, squeez my pert nipple, continue his work on my clit and nibble at my neck all while fucking me. The feeling of Negan deep in me and stimulating the most sensitive spots on my body makes my entire form shiver with euphoria. 

With every heave of his chest against my back and every nibble, pinch and thrust he makes he pushes me closer to the edge. Unholy sounds escape my lips with Negan huffing a string of filth into my ear. He praises me as his good little slut and reminds me exactly where his cock is buried. When his teeth find my earlobe and bite down, he makes the world fall apart around me. My body convulses with Negan holding me tight against him to keep me upright. I can’t focus on one thing, all my senses mesh together, but in between falling in and out of focus I can tell he is close too. With my ass tightening around his cock I feel him twitch inside of me. It is not like how it feels when he comes in my cunt, no this feels like he blows deeper inside of me. I can feel every slight movement of his dick and his spendings splutter out, making his dick even more slick and wet inside me. 

In my haze I feel him pull out of me and pick me up, and soon we are wrapped up in each other’s arms in the shower. He trails kisses up my neck as he helps me clean myself up. He is so tender I almost have to wonder if this is really Negan I am with. When we are both fresh and clean we go back to bed and he pulls me into his embrace. I hum against his chest and nuzzle further into him.

“What’s next?” 

“Fuck, baby… You wanna go again?” He grins down at me.

I chuckle and shuffle up against the crook of his neck.“I’m spent…” I say with a satisfied smile. “What’s next for  _ us _ ?”

“I have to handle this shit with Lucille,” he says with a low rumble. “I need her to putthe idea of me fucking someone else to rest.”

Hearing him speak her name as I am wrapped up in his arms makes my stomach turn. I don’t want to think about her right now, but then again my question has invited the thought of her into bed with us. Into  _ her _ bed I realize. 

“How?” I ask meekly.

“Leave it to me, baby girl. Don’t worry your pretty little head about this right now. Just know that we’re not done. This,” he kisses my forehead and pulls me further in, “is not over. I’m not gonna let you go.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. He can keep her, just as long as he keeps me, as well. I wonder how he is going to sort this out, though.

  
  



End file.
